If you were given access to a list of all the porn content you've viewed along with the associated metadata neatly categorized and documented it might change your outlook on the issue. It's not just about the subject matter, it's about what conclusions can be correctly or incorrectly drawn from the data. Metadata such as date and time, location, etc. would be of interest. All this being said, "I'm a sick fuck, I like a quick fuck"

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/01/pornhub-views-spiked-...

I'm not necessarily ashamed about anything. Although I am disturbed at how hot I get about some seriously evil stuff. But at least not by abusive child porn, which only saddens and angers me. Even the child model bullshit. There's lots of that on Freenet.

And yes, I am perhaps too curious.

However, I definitely wouldn't want anything beyond mainstream porn linked to my meatspace identity. Because I don't want to risk rotting in prison for ~five years, and getting permanent probation. But by using VPNs and Tor, I need not be overly constrained by those risks.

What if those desires happen to be illegal in your country of residence? In some locales plain homosexuality can get you in trouble.