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Comment by neom | Hacker News Reader

As an egocentric self-righteous narcissist who spent their 20s making friends by being "right", I'm slowly starting to learn that isn't a fun way to live. I think it's the same thing as when someone you care about is "complaining", you don't always have to help them solve the problem, sometimes they just want to talk.

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I read this article about oscar wilde from a recent hacker news post, and some details resonated with me in regard to "the art - and artifice - of conversation."

- "never tell a story because it is true: tell it because it is a good story."

- Even for the men of science, mere facts were never allowed to dominate diversion.

- "the golden rule of conversation" was "to know nothing accurately."

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20219628

There is a fine line as most people don't have very good conversation skill's and will use you as a surrogate to a psychologist. You have to pull them in line with eye contact and silence and then giving them the benefit of the doubt, and finally have to say they're in a conversation/discussion. If that all else fails then you leave the conversation.

I totally agree. I also think there is a huge selfishness in allowing yourself to be used as a surrogate to a psychologist. Just because you are lonely due to not figuring out the other things yourself, doesn't mean you should play doctor to feel fulfilled.

Do you mean selfishness or low self-wroth? Selfishness is that you're doing it because you only care about yourself and not the other person (In that case you would be talking about yourself). Low self-worth is where you believe you're view point and genuine experiences are lesser than the other person.

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