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Comment by codesushi42 | Hacker News Reader

Yes, but you may be talking about your social circle. I am skeptical that casually sharing your porn habits is going to be seen as acceptable and normal in the eyes of most of your peers.

I'm a few years from the age range you mentioned, and I can't say I have seen the same level of openness. Not even close.

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Values change wildly depending on where you are from.

I am mostly talking about second and third generation atheists from Montréal and the surrounding region. The way of life is obliviously very different than what it would be in let's say, conservative southern USA.

That being said, being open about sexuality brings openness. For example, I had a very long conversation with a woman from Haiti this last weekend. She has a lot of questions and we talked about everything from the existence of female orgasms to gender identities and sexuality. I could literally see the weight and shame lift off her shoulders as I explained and normalized concepts for her.

I am not arguing the merits of openness, or whatever. But you don't need to travel all of the way to southern US to find that most people even in that age range aren't open about sharing their porn habits.

Claiming there would be no consequences from sharing publicly is unrealistic at best and dishonest at worst.

Using Southern US was simply an overstatement. I'm sure I could look at my neighbours from the same appartment block and find people who are not as open about all of this.

Could you provide examples on where disclosing your sexual preferences could be hurtful or dangerous? I honestly cannot imagine any situation except some edge cases where illegal habits are involved. (E.g. a high school teacher that searches for pornography involving people roleplaying as minors.)

The only other situation that comes to my mind is people not out of the closet being found out and outed before being ready.

It would be hurtful because it would negatively impact your social relations since it's unusual to be so open and there are a number of legal sexual interests that many find distasteful or even revolting.

You make your own social circle and only you can choose who you spend time with. If you are someone open about sexuality, then chances are that you will surround yourself with people who find this natural.

I absolutely reject the normalization of puritan values you are pushing. There is nothing abnormal and unusual at all about being learned about human sexuality and discussing the subject with friends. Yes, it can be something that does not attract you. You cannot, however, make such claims and present them as facts.

Being open about sexuality does not mean that you are socially awkward. Of course you need to read the room first. I would never assault someone with facts about sexuality and find it extremely distasteful when someone does so myself. You can be open about your sexuality while staying polite and professional. Being socially revolting is a character trait and has nothing to do with sexuality.

For example, I would never talk about sexual encounters with anyone from my office. I will, however, demystify and explain the details of sexuality and kinks if I hear people spreading stereotypes.

Talking with your close social circle at a bar or a house-party is not the same game as talking with co-workers or strangers. Nor is talking about your personal sex life the same thing as discussing the subject of human sexuality.

I have been talking about sexuality a lot in this thread and I strongly doubt that I have been revolting or distasteful about it.

The point is that people should have the choice to share however much they want of their sexual life with the rest of the world. It shouldn’t be a company/government that surreptitiously gathers information about you.

I understand the point you’re trying to make, but your argument sounds dangerously close to “why do you need privacy if you have nothing to hide?”

> I understand the point you’re trying to make, but your argument sounds dangerously close to “why do you need privacy if you have nothing to hide?”

We absolutely need privacy even with nothing to hide. My point is that pornography is not any more of an important issue than anything else. It simply sells more clicks and make people take more when news are reporting on it.

As someone who used to live in Lubbock, TX, revealing yourself as being a member of the LGBTQ+ community could lead to anything from shunning (job, church, school, "friends") to verbal/sexual harassment to direct physical violence.

I'll concede anecdotes are not data, so believe me as much as you want.

However, as a very shallow representation, google: lubbock lgbtq hate crimes

I haven't been there in years, but as of the beginning of this year, out of the maybe 2 dozen folks at possible risk that I know from my time there, only one has stayed, and that's mainly due to her wife's extended family living there and property she can't sell for what she wants.

I'm in that age range (29), and I've never seen that (UK). It's not out of shame, or even any particular secrecy - it just doesn't come up, and would feel a little weird to bring up.

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