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FWIW I tried going to the zoning board for the parking issue mentioned above, and I got different answers from different people (which is a big problem in and of itself), but basically the answer I got from city officials was "you have to do this if you want to build a duplex." The lot is already zoned/approved for duplex, and whether there are 2 or 4 parking spots won't affect things like utility capacity.

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This isn't the sort of thing you talk to "city officicals" about. There is almost certainly a political entity in your city/county made up of appointed or elected citizens called something like a planning commission. You do not talk to the city employees, they implement policy. You need to talk to the politicians who make policy, and have the policy modified for your project, if it will serve the community's interest.

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