It's an interesting article in spite of the silly title. The researchers made a joke article and it went more popular than the serious research article :(.

I propose to change the title to "Dark matter detection in traces in granite (and humans)" but it breaks all the official and unofficial guidelines.

Note that the volume and lifetime of granite is much bigger than humans, so if they didn't find any trace in granite they don't expect to find one in humans. Also, IIUC there is nothing special about organic matter.

How "loud" would it be an event like this in the middle of the sea? Can it be heard with the acoustic detectors to detect roge nuclear explosions?