City dwellers seem to think of smaller towns as some sort of dessert wasteland, but I can get to anything a city dweller can in the same amount of time. There's just as much stuff out here, we just also have enough room to live comfortably. The low property prices and crime are great too.
I do think hit the nail on the head with the self sufficiency. I have absolutely no need or desire to commute into the nearest big city (big it is fun for day trips every once in a while).
The area directly outside the urban core that contains only housing and bad traffic is definitely not somewhere I would want to live, although owning a proper house instead of renting an apartment is very important to some people.
Also, many small towns have higher crime rates per capita than cities.
That seems like hyperbole unless you live above a shopping complex.
Per capita crime rates do not matter. What matters is the question "How likely am I to be the victim of a crime if I live in area X?".
Depending on the type of crime, you are around 4x as likely to be the victim of a violent crime if you live in a city[1].
Per capita rates is a statistical curiosity. Being 4x more likely to be shot is what people actually care about. When the population density is 10 - 100x different, a small difference in per capita rates is meaningless.
[1] https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2017/crime-in-the-u.s.-...
I herd my 12 kids down from my far-too-small apartment. My wife and I go in separate elevator cars so that we can fit. We'll go enjoy a trendy restaurant because we're city people and we do that. We walk along toward the subway station, sometimes stepping out into traffic to avoid tents. Every 30 seconds, we count the children to make sure that we have the same number we started with. We really should do more than count, in order to prevent substitutions. Sometimes we have to back up to find a kid who is slow. Sometimes we must run to stop a kid who is running ahead. We check shoelaces, then lead the kids onto the escalator. At the platform, we continue counting while keeping kids away from the platform edge. Once the subway arrives, we get on, hopefully 100% of us. We guard the door to make sure nobody exits before the correct stop. At the correct stop, we herd them off, hopefully getting 100% of them onto the platform. We check shoelaces again, and then head up the escalator. We continue on our way, counting as we go. The kids are tired. Some need to pee, without warning. Too late! We find the restaurant. People glare at us. Oops, backtrack for a missing kid, hopefully not swiped or squished or infected. Again we go to the restaurant. We order a meal. It's only $1400 for the family, such a deal. Oh, they want to tack on a huge tip for themselves, so more. People are still glaring at us. Food gets dropped. A glass slides off the table and shatters, splattering the drink on several people. At least my kids don't scream and throw things, so I get some credit for that. Now we can go to the parkland or activities, but several kids are looking sleepy. Well, back home we go. This happens 3 times per day, every day, just so we can eat. We can't possibly carry enough overpriced groceries home for cooking, and anyway the kitchen in our apartment is a joke. We just have to accept spending $1,533,000 per year to eat.
Also who on earth ever takes "12 kids" out to eat, in the city or out of it? Do you and your wives go in separate minivans, or do you own a bus?
In reality, of course I don't live like that. I'm in a big house in a non-urban city, I almost never go out to eat, and there is no subway here. We drive a Ford E350 with 15 seats in 5 rows, and the vehicle title or registration does actually say "bus". The kids usually surprise other people with good behavior, but they are still kids. They aren't the sort to throw tantrums, but spills and other accidents will happen.
Much of the rest is in your statement of what to imagine: using a restaurant, not being in traffic.
But on your last throw-in dig, that’s disingenuous. Poverty is not unique to large cities. I’ve lived in rural towns as small as 7,000 and poverty there is just as visible and acute.
The oldest kids can help herd the younger ones, but I have the responsibility. I still have to check. Failure causes serious trouble.