There are two different usages here: queer as umbrella term inclusive of LGBT etc, and queer as a specific identity. The usage as identity of its own is intentionally ambiguous/expansive but frequently implies some form of gender fluidity.

The term can also ambiguously imply a particular political stance with regard to the role of gender in society, or more strongly a particular leftist philosophy.

I am gay man, I do not identify as queer, I think that is pretty common. I'm fine mostly with the umbrella term, but also don't identify with enough parts of that politics that I wouldn't use the term myself ever.

The original commenter is right that the apps don't necessarily seem welcoming to the specifically queer identified.

It seems like you’re looking for reasons to ignore the possibility that there’s a useful distinction to be made between the two terms. That seems like a more interesting discussion to have than any involving ad hominem such as “you’re looking for a reason to be a victim”.

> It seems like you're looking for a reason to be a victim

That crosses into personal attack. Please don't do that in arguments here, regardless of how wrong someone is or it feels they are.

And could you please not post in the flamewar style to HN generally? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20473318 is an example.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html