I don't dwell on the past | Hacker News Reader

I don't dwell on the past

gabrielweinberg.com

80 pointsphsr14 comments

Somewhat related:

"The weak regrets his words more than his silence; the strong regrets his silence more than his words; the magnificent regrets nothing." -- N. N. Taleb

I love this quote, and I plan on reusing it.

The only thing I would add is that instead of "the magnificent" it probably should read "the magnificent and the fool", since the fool also regrets nothing.

Not that it makes the quote any less cool, just rounds it out a little better for reuse.

I think fools can still regret. I'm changing it to "the magnificent and sharks" in the version I repeat.

Feels like an auto-generated aphorism.

Behold:

"The weak regrets his silence more than his words; the strong regrets his words more than his silence; the magnificent regrets nothing."

If you'd read that one first, it would be just as meaningful. Which is to say, not at all.

People are often afraid of speaking up. This ties in with the idea of the strong regretting silence as opposed to speaking up.

Your version isn't as meaningful.

Shouldn't it be the weak who are more often silent out of fear? I deliberately avoid using my True Name here so that controversial positions won't affect my employability, and I wouldn't do that if I had fuck-you money and a permanent home (economic strength).

One time I lost a large deal because the buyer's boss came across a controversial piece I'd written, and didn't think I was a good fit with their buttoned-down formal organization.

Later, I made a very similar deal for about 30% more money, that wouldn't have happened without losing the first one.

I reckon, better to lose by boldness than lose by tameness. Either one can bite you, but at least you get some satisfaction out of losing for being too bold.

I gather these conditions are necessary but not sufficient. I would hate to place Hitler and the like under the last category.

This reminds me of Stoicism. Something that is simple but definitely not easy. Something I struggle with.

> It’s important to remember that this is an exercise and not a rhetorical device. He doesn’t mean “think about” misfortune, he means live it. Comfort is the worst kind of slavery because you’re always afraid that something or someone will take it away. But if you can not just anticipate but practice misfortune, then chance loses its ability to disrupt your life.

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/04/13/stoicism-101...

> Instead, I think that I am able to separate my identity from my work. Perhaps it is a defense mechanism at its core.

I think this is the core of egoless programming; this, to me, has been the hardest thing to learn.

I applaud Gabriel for his (non)accomplishments - particularly in finding appreciation for all of his brain-children, no matter what they've become. I don't think it is a defense mechanism, I think it is a healthy appreciation for the life-death cycle that everything experiences. A knowing that is only got by "trying and dying" multiple times :)

It will serve him well as a father too.

I've learned to manage my emotions, including those that accompany failure, pretty well over the years, but there's still that initial involunary feeling of despair that, however brief, I can't get rid of. It's really nasty.

If you can get past that, I think you can overcome anything -- I've never faced a bigger personal challenge.

If we want our life to go well, Epictetus says, we should, rather than wanting events to conform to our desires, make our desires conform to events; we should, in other words, want events “to happen as they do happen.” - Taken from A guide to the good life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy

I think this pretty much works for me now.

Xamuel doesn't get much traction on HN but here he is spot on:

http://www.xamuel.com/a-message-of-regret/

He also has many interesting very non conventional posts beside the purely "math nerd/tech nerd" ones.

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