First read up on this:
http://www.gabrielweinberg.com/startupswiki/Ask_YC_Archiveand "The Startup Company Bible", a book that is particularly useful on explaining the mechanics of raising VC rounds, should you decide to go that route.
As for your specific questions:
"googling and clicking on nr1 works obv but where do i find the best and most trustworthy investors?"
Get to know other entrepreneurs, angel investors, and other members of the startup community and ask them about their experiences raising money, and when you are ready to raise money than try to get one of them to introduce you to a firm. Getting introduced to a VC via a connection, even a very casual connection, is virtually the only way that you will have the opportunity for a first meeting, unless your site is already well-known.
"what kind of deals should i demand/expect?"
Depends a lot on how much you have to show. If you already have a product and users, your valuation will be higher and you can get a better deal.
"at what stage is good to start seeking VC?"
When your company absolutely needs the money and/or connections to succeed. For some ideas (probably not most web application ideas though), this may be before you even start building the product. For other ideas, this may never happen at all. People get somewhat religious in this particular debate, and I won't try to defend one particular side except to say you shouldn't be opposed to VC funding on principle because some ideas absolutely need it, but many web companies don't. You should take a long and serious look at your company to determine which category it falls under.
"or shouldnt i seek but let the VCs find me(ie laucnh product and if it is good people will come and VCs will come)?
If launching your product and looking to get users before raising money is an option, you should take that option. There are many reasons for this, and not just "so the VC's will come to you." The most serious is that when you raise a large sum of money to execute on a certain idea, you lose flexibility in being able to change your idea. If you don't have any users yet, changes are good that your idea will need to change. If you've raised VC money, it can be difficult (but by no means impossible) to sell them on your new direction.
"what is normal, VCs approaching startups or startups approaching VCs?"
I would say that a startup approaching a VC is many orders of magnitude more common, but a VC approaching a startup certainly happens and is much more likely to result in a deal being made.
"are there a lot of unsinister "sharks" in the business?"
I think you mean a "sinister shark", as an unsinister shark wouldn't be anything to worry about, now would it! (Plus, the alliteration is spoiled!). But sure, there are slimy people in any business, but especially in businesses that have the opportunity to make people rich. Get to know enough people and you should be able to identify who these people are.
"what else to think about?"
Your product! Making sure people want it, building it, growing it. This should be your primary focus.
Also, and not to be too impolite about it, you should also think about using proper grammar and spelling on this site if you want people to have a good impression of you.