You need to simulate making a seal between the meter and the thing you want to measure. You can put the meter through a hole in a piece of foam to measure the sound of regular headphones.
For in-ears, I stared with a toilet paper tube and cut it down to a small cylinder and tried to seal the earbud in there.
I got one and found that my typical listening levels were within safety threshold, it actually made me confident to sometimes turn up some things a bit louder without worrying.
Another thing is comparing what you have to a known reference. The decibel levels of apple ear buds at different volume levels of an iphone are out there if you search. It won't be that accurate but it will give you a general idea.
>all the way up and only ten minutes is safe