Comment by taxicabjesus | Hacker News Reader

Comment by taxicabjesus | Hacker News Reader

A while back I tried to figure out how many people die every year. I didn't find a number then, but figured it was on the order of 50-100 million people. Searching just now, the number is probably around 56 million people, meaning approximately 153,000 people die on Planet Earth every day.

In America we have an odd relationship with the inevitable. Sometimes people get a terminal diagnosis, and sometimes they fight it. Two of my former passengers (I have a few I stay in touch with) were recently witnesses to some rather terrible death experiences related to cancer. One was the passenger's daughter-in-law's mother (breast cancer -> metastatic cancer), the other was the passenger's mother (uterine cancer -> metastatic cancer). I drove the one passenger's mother to her first cancer surgery, 4 years ago. She was a fighter until the very end, and only spent a few days on hospice care.

My mom's 95 year old friend has been waiting to die for a few years -- she'd had a stroke 7 years ago, and can't speak coherently. Mom and the other caretaker told the woman's doctors that the 95 year old has absolutely no desire to prolong her suffering, but the doctors kept treating her like an 85-year-old with plenty of life ahead of her. Patients are worth more that way, I think.

Commenting on the 95 year old's predicament, my brother said sometimes it's best if one's ticker just stops ticking, and not trying too hard to keep it going (with stents and pacemakers and the like).

(minor edits)

We kind of let our 86-year old grand-mother die this spring. I guess we could of had prolonged her suffering had we insisted on hospitalizing her once she decided to stop eating (she had been more or less bed-ridden by almost an year by that point), but we decided that it was best for her to pass in her own bed, in her own house, outside of hospitals of which she was very frightened and where she had last spent the night more than 60 years ago, when my dad had been born. We took the right decision.

Being diagnosed with kidney disease and now on dialysis, I had to think quite a bit about how my life will end. Both my spouse and I had a talk and filled a health care declaration so doctors would know what we want at the end.

My father passed away earlier this year. Not that old but for the last 3 years of his life, he was unable to get up (body weakened by diabetes and a round of cancer), unable to see (almost 95% blind), and for the last 7 months unable to even speak. I do not live with the family so did not interfere but in my mind the question always was "what is the purpose of living at this point" whereas in the minds of close family and doctors: how else can we prolong life! To what purpose, I could never figure out. Whether we call them death panels or whatever is the current demagoguery term, I think we need to discuss them more because I definitely would not want to linger like that.

If that is your preference, you may need to take responsibility for it. The default in the medical community is to prolong, so if you're far enough gone that they control your fate then that is what will happen. "Living wills" exist but IME they change what gets argued about not the result.

Of course it's the default. It both makes them money and absolves them of having to make a decision (and rightfully so IMO, should be up to the patient and family).

Maybe? There are trade-offs. Since patients can't trust hospitals to stop heroic lifesaving efforts precisely when patients choose (rather than a month later after all the arguments have been exhausted), they end up avoiding hospitals and receiving both less palliative care and less care in general.

Think of it as a vaccine for community. My grandfather passed away recently too. He had been 2 weeks away from death at the slightest sickness for two years.

At the point of failure, his heart was at 10%, lungs at 20%, kidney on dialysis, swelling in body, GI bleeding, but conscious and tired.

All were treatable but only after surgery which nobody was sure he could endure.

When things got bad, there was no option but surgery. He passed away shortly after emergency surgery.

The grandchildren witnessed and were there to take care of him. They witnessed the parents taking care of him. They witnessed family coming together and LIVING. They were part of a tradition that needs to live on. Because deep inside it nurtures a thing called care and love. In community.

The sick and dying exist and persist to nurture a calmness in our communities and it is essential in an era when time is moving faster than life.

There is a saying that goes like "Curse be he who witnesses his parents reach old age but does not take care of them." Not everyone is fortunate to witness that."

This is a great and much-needed comment.

There's absolutely a need for many Americans (and perhaps other Westerners) to re-examine approaches to death, and judgment about when it's best to prolonging life and when it's best to avoid intervening.

But that reckoning may not be as thoughtful as it needs to be if it's all about thresholds of individual capability; it may need to be nested in a larger conversation about what makes life valuable as age may diminish that capability.

I was in hospital last year with sepsis in a renal Unit and the person in the bed opposite was in a similar position.

When you got woken up at night by the nurses feeding him via a nasal tube was a bit grim.

My grand grandfather on father's line, before he died at 98, made an impression "if he will not die from age, he will die from boredom." One day in 1996, he went for a walk on his own, and collapsed on the street.

He survived Qing, Khivan khanate, Russian empire, commies, many of his children, and two of his wives, one of whom was 15 years younger than him. Nothing of modern era ever delighted him. I think, for like 30 years, he sat and waited for his days to end.

Boredom frightens me as much as death, if not more

Whoa! Was he Uzbek?

The Khivan khanate thing sticks out at me. I lived a year in central asia, I'd love to hear more.

No, Chinese. His family left Qing within months of him being born when the country was on its dying breath.

Khiva was still at least nominally a vassal, but somewhat independent state. A decade after they arrived, Russia finally annexed it completely, but only to be toppled itself by communists just few years later.

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