This kind of stuff is horrifying to me and why I willingly pay the Apple Tax. At the end of the day they have stores full of humans I can walk into and tell my sob story to and excellent telephone support.
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204921 "If you need more help, contact Apple Support. While we can answer your questions about the account recovery process, we can't verify your identity or expedite the process in any way."