I've been using NextCloud hosted on my personal NAS, and recently even switched over to using a todo manager that uses CalDAV so I can use my NextCloud server for personal task management. Backups are done through restic to a couple cloud providers, and honestly this is the hardest part to get user friendly because there's no UI (yes, I know Relica exists but I don't want to pay monthly for it and use my own storage).
At this point everything (files & photos, calendar, contacts) but my email (which is with FastMail) is self hosted or backed up on my NAS (and consequently, the cloud storage backup). Home automation is also all done through Home Assistant and local Z-Wave devices (I used SmartThings way back when, but switched to HA).
Though it's not easy enough for non-tech-literate people to do, I think it's close. Maybe a hosted NextCloud instance + auto backups would be good enough for most people.