Honestly I'm not sure what I believe. I lean towards believing in a God but I'm full of doubt about the essence of God. I was brought up in a Christian home and like you really religious when a kid. We had a "high ceiling" both at home and in the church, encouraging individual thinking and discussion so I never felt brainwashed. If there is a God I think He/She is greater than any religion can encompass, so there may be strands of truth in many religions.
I don't worry so much over having the correct faith (IMHO any God worth their salt would not condemn a man based on things unknowable) as about the consequences of my actions (or in-actions). So for me, any religion that encourages its followers to do good things to other people, and not bad things to other people seems like it can't be really bad (it can still be practiced badly..). Following the teachings of Jesus then seems like a good idea ("Love thy neighbor...Do unto others... etc"). Unfortunately, while a lot of Christians do that, a lot of them don't.
While I tend to believe myself to be quite rational, I still prefer to keep an open mind about these things. If you've read C.S Lewis "The magicians nephew", there's a part in the book where all the animals start talking, but the magician only hears growls and animalistic sounds because he has convinced himself that it simply cannot be that the animals speak. That's my greatest fear, that I've closed my mind to possibilities outside of my very limited comprehension.
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> Not sure I buy your Judas story, if he believed then he was stupid to sell God.
I'm not sure I think Judas believed Jesus was God, I think Judas may have believed him to be the Messiah, who many Jewish groups had differing ideas about. Some believed the Messiah would be an earthly king, and I believe that Judas may have been one of those people.