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Comment by blfr | Hacker News Reader

You, too, can strike up a conversation with a total stranger at a bus station and it doesn't have to feel weird. It is, however, likely to be short because people are so unused to it in the atomized west that, if you don't carry the whole conversation, they simply won't know what to say.

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In much of "flyover country", Americans routinely greet, chat with, and interact with strangers in public. Ironically, it's one of the American traits often criticized by Europeans. "How rude, how intrusive, to invade my private bubble."

But then, the UK has a similar phenomenon, with sophisticated Londoners making the same complaints about England's own flyover country, "the North" [1]

[1]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

Yes, it's a big city behaviour more than first world behaviour.

It the UK it's a north / south divide, nothing to do with urban vs. rural. Disclaimer: Unfriendly southerner here. Also no idea if this is still true in 2019.

Also East/West. Seems to be worse the closer you get to London.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_Nice_Up_North

My mom lives in a small town in Canada. When she visits the Bay area and we go for walks, she always says "hi" to the people we pass. It usually makes people do a double take.

But it was the same when I lived in a mid-sized town in the mid-west US. People were much more friendly and inviting. Randomly striking up a conversation (small talk) was usually quite well received.

I moved to the bay area and it is comical how closed off people are. I say hi to people on the walking trail and maybe one in five will respond. This place is lonely central. If I didn't have my SO I'd go insane.

>>In much of "flyover country", Americans routinely greet, chat with, and interact with strangers in public.

I’ve had the opposite experience. Strangers routinely strike up conversations with me when I’m in New York, Boston, Chicago. Last time I was waiting for a friend at a bar, and there was baseball on TV. Some old man sitting next to me turned to me and started telling me about the time he got something signed by Babe Ruth. As a foreigner I’m totally used to it of course, but I’m also cognizant of the fact that it is out of the ordinary in American standards.

Last night, I said something to my spouse about a conversation I had with a "single serving friend", and she didn't know what I was talking about. I said it was a Fight Club reference, then went farther and explained that I had a five minute conversation with a complete stranger (just walking down the street together), and I had to explain this idea to her, because she's an introvert and would never, ever engage in a conversation with a stranger.

How do you come to meet someone who seemingly doesn't have any way of meeting or interacting with others they aren't already acquainted with? How do you come to marry someone before you have this conversation to discover their lived experience of social interactions is so radically different to your own? No judgment, just a strange backstory that seems to raise more questions than it answers.

My spouse meets people entirely through her existing social networks - me, her existing friends, her dance community, and work. She doesn't just strike up conversations with complete strangers, it makes her very uncomfortable. Whereas I'm an extrovert and happily start or engage in conversations with strangers all the time.

She and I met back in the day through her boyfriend at the time (interestingly, we're still friends - he lives in town and we see him regularly). And she met him through her college roommate, freshman year.

The South is pretty friendly and outgoing in many places. I strike up conversations almost everywhere and most people are ok with it. Of course there are some people that hate small talk and I try to respect that.

Your second sentence seems to contradict the "it doesn't have to feel weird" part of the first.

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