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Comment by Circuits | Hacker News Reader

I am a living, breathing, oxymoron. I have no problem in social situations once I am in them but I have tremendous problems getting into them. Then, once I am in them, I enjoy it for about an hour or two before I am screaming in my own head: "GET ME THE #$@# OUT OF HERE!!!" then once I get out I am good for a few days before I think to myself: "My life sucks I wish I wasn't such a loner" and since I have trouble getting into social situations I can be stuck on the "My life sucks..." stuff for months, sometimes years.

I would love to get another girlfriend... its been about 6 years now. Worst thing is the women I am interested in are even more shy than myself and I live in a part of the country where apparently woman are much more shy on average.

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

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When I was single, once I realized breaking the ice was 80% of the battle, my world opened up.

People already have a good idea if they like you or not within 10 seconds. If their cues aren't that of someone trying to exit a conversation then you have the green light.

Are you me?

Maybe this is an ambivert + social anxiety thing?

It is so odd. I like to be alone, but I like to know that I have a social interaction planned for later in the day, etc, so that I’m not guaranteed to be alone for the WHOLE day. And then once I’m there, I’m eager to get back to being by myself.

Yes but now that you know I have to kill me... us.

Oh man, does this sound familiar... I think my potential barrier for engaging in a social encounter is lower than yours, but the general pattern is the same. I hate being around people for too long but then I crave their company.

The worst part is.. I feel like I have something to offer. I have a sense of humor, a steady job, I am an artist, a musician, a poet, I am respectful and supportive, passionate and a hopeless romantic... but no one will ever know because apparently I am also a huge #$@% XD

> I enjoy it for about an hour or two before I am screaming in my own head: "GET ME THE #$@# OUT OF HERE!!!"

You don't need to beat yourself up about this - if you have a low social drive and are satisfied after an hour or two, feel free to leave. Don't tough it out because you say that society says that you should be having fun.

Is it possible you aren't initiating or entering (getting into) social situations because of the fear of rejection or the fear of an awkward situation?

I was a very shy child due to severe emotional abuse. I assumed everyone was going to demand the same interactions and therefore avoided interactions. Helping me see it was basically the same as overcoming it.

If you are shy with girls there is a good chance there is something in your past with a prominent female figure, likely a mother figure.

Youre probably a dork. Source: i am a dork

pull yerself together, man! :)

which country? just get a programmer girlfriend EZ

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