There's no amount of money you can pay them to get decent support, that I'm aware; at least, if you could, you can't just pay them upfront. They screwed up their weird bespoke network configuration system (which they inexplicably use in place of DHCP) on FreeBSD, and their only support output is: lol blow down your instance and start a fresh one.

You tell me why a company like theirs, which should be mature, ditched their proprietary support and ticketing system (which actually worked) for an shoddy, misconfigured off-the-shelf product which has equally little excuse for being that bad.

I think it's customary here to be unfair to companies, even when they're doing "the right thing" as DO is right now; but DO has spent their customer patience budget elsewhere, so I'm not going to be surprised if people view the post mortem as an inadequate replacement for getting it right the first time, rather than a followup to an honest mistake they will actually try hard to avoid in the future.