Alastair Reynolds also does a great job with this in his Revelation Space trilogy, with his lighthuggers.
Humans just aren't wired to consider family members beyond 3 or 4 generations up and down.
Perhaps I'd feel the same general apathy as Pham Nuwen 20 generations down. Then again, he had other familial issues that played a part.
In the other, he'd been resurrected by some godlike AI as a meatspace agent. Millennia after the Qeng Ho era, I think.
The answer is that the 'moving' traveler needs to flip the ship around at some point and thrust back towards the starting point. Whoever turns back around will find that it's their clocks that passed more slowly.
See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Periodic_boundary_conditions
If so, that is not correct. Atomic clocks have measured actual, lasting time differences.
Each should see the other as dilated, no?