Basically I have the desire to do "more", but lack the mental and emotional skillsets to be able to execute.
I spent a lot of time feeling like you, wanting more but not executing. That said, I have been pretty successful in the last two years, learning those things on my own. I learned/am learning how to be a very proficient dev, play classical guitar, snowboard, dive, and surf decently, and even now fly planes. I'm not the best but enough for some serious personal enjoyment. For me it was the catalyst of flipping my world upside down, moving far away and starting over. Drop me a line if you ever want, maybe I can offer some assistance.
I've thought about
> flipping my world upside down, moving far away and starting over
but I have too many good people in my life where I am to do this, even if it means sacrificing ambitions. Note that these are good people who inspire me to do better, but that inspiration fades when push actually comes to shove.
Think twice about what you wish for. Parents pushing kids hard are not a panacea, and you might not have gotten as far in life if your parents were like that.
> Basically I have the desire to do "more", but lack the mental and emotional skillsets to be able to execute.
FWIW what usually holds people back isn't what their parents did or the education they received at school. Rather, it is the importance they put on their parents' eyes and on their peers' eyes. Just move on and do.
I can't quite tell if it's because I like programming more, or if it's because as I get older, I have trouble justifying stuff that I know won't help with monetary or intellectual fulfillment.
I don't think it really has anything to do with recognizing something as being artificial happiness. It just has to do with change. There are speedrunners who code for a living, come home and compete for the fastest times on any number of games, spend their time attending things like AGDQ or contributing to the various micro communities within the scene.
I think people tend to fall into either passive or proactive mindsets for their hobbies. And it's a sort of spectrum over time influenced by the communities you belong to. If you're part of a community for your hobby, then you get more out of it due to community momentum. Sort of like the person who plays games to relax after work, versus the person participating in a speedrunning community for a specific game.
I would say that I don't get addicted like I used to when I was a teen. I've often attributed that to realizing it was a destructive behavior and learning from it though. If I had more time, I would probably play more though.
There are already video game systems in nursing homes. They don't have much 3d shooters, but wii bowling is popular (or it was 2 years ago, since my grandma died I haven't had reason to visit).
I do enjoy my job, but I'd get burnt out doing it much more than I do.
[0] https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/01/tales-of-an-aging-gam...
I even try to play games occasionally because the idea is still somewhere in my brain that it would be fun and relaxing. I even usually overbuild my workstations to handle AAA games thinking I might just play one this year.
But they just don't hold my interest anymore. I don't really know why. That endorphin hit when playing just doesn't happen like it used to.
What do you want to accomplish that you aren't accomplishing? What seems to be the holdup?
I'm sure plenty of people here can point you in the right direction to dramatically up your game in relatively short order (possibly including me).
Primary issue is my lack of self-discipline to be able to override desires for short-term pleasures.
1. Unidentified problems, such as minor health issues.
2. A signifier of being Twice Exceptional, which I highly recommend you read up on because average performance that the individual finds frustrating while longing to do greater things is a standard hallmark of being 2e.
Some resources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twice_exceptional
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/twice_exceptional.htm
I raised and homeschooled two Twice Exceptional sons. One was a B student. The other made straight As. The B student has both a higher IQ and a lot more handicaps/other issues.
I briefly did pro bono work for The TAG Project: http://www.tagfam.org/
> 1. Unidentified problems, such as minor health issues.
What kind of minor health issues? Physical or mental?
> 2. 2e
I really don't think I fit in this area, just one example being because it's not
> average performance
that's my problem, because when I do something when I put in any amount of "effort", I nail it. The only time my performance is average, is when I don't do any work and just throw something together last second because I spent all my time playing video games.
The problem, of course, is that I find the majority of things I do fall into that latter camp where I can't muster the drive to put in effort.
The problem, of course, is that I find the majority of things I do fall into that latter camp where I can't muster the drive to put in effort.
Please just start reading the resources I pointed you to.
There's also this, which I am the author of, though there isn't much there currently: https://raisingfutureadults.blogspot.com/
Other key factors were finding things in life that are worth the short term sacrifice for long term fulfillment. Surround yourself with ambitious folks. I’ve been the degenerate binge- watching Netflix till 5am, skipping college classes etc. And still have days almost that bad, but full-time employment changes people. Build good habits, adopt a growth mindset and we all can do it. Oh and sleep is extremely important. If I get less than 7 hours, I don’t have enough mental stamina and end up succumbing to all the short term desires.
Yes, they (often) do. With positive or negative effects depending on the approach and how well it is adapted to the kid.
> Kids push themselves.
Yes, they often do. The two are not mutually exclusive.
> I was an EE/CS professor at a top 20 school. The only push was the example my parents set, as far back as 2nd grade.
Yes, parental modelling is a powerful mechanism for influencing childhood behavior and, while it's not the only tool in the kit, by itself a powerful rebuttal to your first claim.