I have an MBA from an elite school and I don’t disagree with you at all about the performative nature of authoritative self-confidence. For better or worse, confidence is a strong virtue signal in white collar work and more confident workers are seen as more competent. It’s no accident that most business schools hit presentation and interpersonal skills harder than any other subject — they’re the most correlated with success.

I wonder if this is a reason why women and minorities are severely underrepresented in the executive ranks — managerial positions are often the first time in our lives we are in a position within a social structure where this kind of outsized ego is permitted; much less a good thing. There’s a lot of societal conditioning that tells us to keep our ego in check or face negative consequences, and overcoming that takes time, resilience and support. I expect some of this filters through to all blue-collar workers of all intersections who are expected to be a replaceable cog in the machine, so there’s definitely a transition for everyone.

Even then though, it’s a tricky line to walk. Men who are read as white with a huge superiority complex are “strong leaders” — even if they’re not well liked. Women with a similar ego are “arrogant bitches” who are constantly under the microscope by people looking to “put them in their place”. Black men in particular have it hard; too much confidence can be interpreted as aggression and feed into the worst stereotypes (“angry black man” is a dangerous label that gets people shot). Asian people have their own labels as well depending on where their heritage is.

(I’m not blaming any one group for any of this — it’s a consequence of the time and place we live in. It’s just up to us to figure out if and how we want to change it.)