Hacker News Reader

Comment by hluska | Hacker News Reader

First off, this is a personal question so you don’t have to answer it, but I encourage you to think it over. How are you doing mentally/emotionally? I don’t know you so can’t make many guesses as to your writing style, but you sound really seriously down on yourself.

I bring that up because career transitions aren’t uncommon, but you need some confidence to make it happen in an interview. There is a huge difference between “I failed” and “I am better suited to something else.”

If you’re in the middle of it and feel like shit, it’s hard to see your gifts. But from an outsider’s point of view, being likeable enough that others will gladly help you is a major strength. Add in some above average technical skills and you’d be fucking dangerous in all kinds of roles. You’re even a good writer - it’s a tough subject but you conveyed emotion and a strong voice.

Best of luck and be safe.

View on HN

Hi,

Thanks for taking an interest in my question. It’s truly appreciated.

I had to laugh at your comment about being down on myself as I’ve heard the same thing from several people, including colleagues. I was trying to steer away from from that self-pitying tone but I guess it still came through!

So yes, confidence has been a huge problem for me, and probably the biggest barrier to overcome if I’m ever going to get a more “business facing” role.

I’m seeing a therapist and trying to do something about it, but changing an entire personality seems to be pretty tough.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply.

Thanks for writing me back!

I’m glad that you’re seeing a therapist and since you’re seeing someone, I’m quite concerned about contradicting you. However, I don’t agree that your post was self pitying. It was well written, balanced and showed a heck of a lot of insight into yourself. If that’s self pitying, I know a lot of people (myself included) who could use a good dose of self pity.

As far as confidence, it sounds like you’ve been through a heck of a lot. Thanks to my own meandering experience, I understand how job stress can sap away at your confidence.

Again, I don’t know you from Adam, so take this as you will, but I’m an outsider and can see a whole lot of strengths. As I mentioned, you’re an excellent writer. In a few hundred words, you have managed to convey some interesting parts of your personality. For one, you strike me as a heck of a nice person. Second, you have one heck of a lot of insight into yourself. Third, I have an immense amount of respect for how you don’t blame anyone or make excuses. That shows a tremendous strength of character.

Finally, you’re fucking brave. Seeing a therapist is damned hard. Coming on here and being as open as you have been is damned hard as well. At this point, courage will only serve you well.

Between those things, I honestly wonder if you’re perhaps better than you think. You strike me as one of those glue developers who may not be the strongest IC, but who multiplies your team’s performance.

But, assuming that you’re correct and you’re not as good as you would like, if I were in your shoes, I would focus on positive things and start writing some cover letters. If your personality shines on a cover letter as it does on this thread, I might be asking you for a job in a couple of years. :)

It really seems like every thread asking anything remotely personal (career, moving to another city, work/life balance etc.) is met with the answer "Sure you don't have depression? Go see a therapist."!

Where did I say anything about depression or about seeing a therapist?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com