Two great reliefs came from the diagnosis:
1. I’m not a lazy, unmotivated person
2. Meds, at the right dose, are amazing. When my Vyvanse kicks in, it’s like walking away from an outdoor block party in my brain and getting into a sound proof booth where I can hear only the noise I want (or have) to.
Things I lived with my whole life that were both positive and negative depending on the circumstances:
- I can’t even stand the thought of a task, class, or activity I’m not interested in, but if I’m even slightly interested I can go deep fast and keep going with no loss of zeal until I’m satisfied. Basically, I can get super obsessed with stuff for short or long periods of time. My hobby background is ridiculously all over the place.
- I think and iterate my thoughts faster than most people can keep up, and I iterate my thoughts externally, if I’m on a roll good luck getting a word in between breaths. My psych “classified” me as a second order thinker and I run lots of what-if permutations and shave and shape creative solutions very fast. It also means I must be extremely cognizant of letting other be heard, especially those that like to ruminate on an idea and bring it to light more fully formed.
- My leg never stopped bouncing, helpful when I played music to keep time, annoying to anyone near me.
- I’m quick to temper and just as fast back to moving on.
- Little to no patience for bullshit or things I just am not interested in. Don’t tell me a detailed story of how to get there, just give me the highlights. I do t care about how you feel about some objective thing, just give me the facts and let’s keep moving.
Lots of other stuff, but basically I coped, unknowingly by creating rituals that allowed me to not forget or have to waste time finding things:
- Get home, keys and wallet go in the exact same place every time
- Todo list for next week created at the end of every Friday, revised at the end of every week day, and reviewed every morning
- The thing I want to do least is the thing I force myself to do first, and nothing else until it’s done
- Organize my schedule in a calendar, if it’s not in there it doesn’t exist and I won’t remember
- Just remembered to put that thing in the car for tomorrow and I’m laying in bed? Get up RIGHT NOW and go do it.
- Can’t forget your coat if your car keys are always in them
- My working area is spotless. No bobble heads on the desk or stacks of papers. Desk is completely clear, cables neatly organized, zip tied, and hidden.
Here’s the thing, maybe you do have ADHD. Maybe you don’t. The rituals you focus on and make so habitual you don’t even have to think about them will still work for you.