That was an enjoyable read. Just funny. Alright, I might not be a "dark" employee but we do run our shop on... FileMaker! Since 1993 as best I can tell.
I had no idea FileMaker was still around. Thirty-four years old and still being developed and used. Seems out-of-character for Apple to keep it going.
It's pretty sweet. I just fielded a full online order system and did it in 30 calendar days flat. It wins five-star reviews from my users and raving compliments.
Now that you put it that way, I am a "dark" employee. ha ha