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I live in a two-party-consent state and I'm wondering how tortured a reading of the wiretapping statute it would require for this to qualify. It certainly seems like my phone's location ought to qualify as "Private communication transmitted by radio."

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This is an interesting point. I haven't read the applicable wiretapping laws, but from my extremely limited understanding, they apply to the conversation and not the location. As one does not expect privacy when out in the public, how about when one is in the confines of one's own home? Can they legally track me in there since I'm not out in public? Do I have the right to privacy in my own home?

If two people are having a conversation about something — let’s say the location of alice’s backpack — which is immediately obvious to anyone walking by the coat hook in the front of the office, should that conversation lose wiretapping protection?

How would someone know the backpack is Alice's unless they were tapping the conversation? If you're not in the immediate vicinity of the backpack witnessing her drop it off, then you've gained information that is otherwise not publicly known. Sure, one could request camera footage showing the event, but I would hope that the person in possession of said footage would at least ask for a warrant first.

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