I had the same issues in a Tesla. I adjusted the following distance down to dissuade people from jumping in front of me, but that felt even more unsafe. Seemed like there was no good solution.
Following any closer then 2 seconds of traveling distance on a clear, dry day, 3 seconds at night, or in the rain, 4 seconds on a rainy night should be considered reckless driving.
"The easiest way to make people stupid is to limit their degrees of freedom"
Cars really only have 2 degrees of freedom: linear acceleration and radial acceleration. In traffic, these DoFs go down by a lot. You ability to de/accelerate linearly is very limited by the cars behind you and in front of you. Your turning also goes down to nearly a binary choice of 1 lane left/right.
Get people 4-wheeling and the stupid is very much still there, but just to get back to a main road, you have to use your noggin a fair bit more. Folks tend to think things through and weight choices more.
The social dynamics are themselves a dimension. Social network graphs can behave as fractals. In a gymnasium filled with people, there is a significant 'fractallyness' to the social network. In traffic, the fractallyness is very limited to just about all the people in the road near you. The social graph, though more fluid in a traffic jam than a pep-rally, is still fairly small.
3Blue1Brown has a great video on the dimensionality of fractals [0] that is useful here. I'm just going to spitball, but I'd bet that the dimensionality of the social graph of a traffic jam is really close to 1.
So in the end, the DoFs of a traffic jam are probably very close to 3, but just a bit over. Say, 3.14-ish. ;)
I'd assume the Tesla to have a lot better (quicker) reaction skills than you and you should probably just trust it (in this particular scenario) and relax, even though the distance might _feel_ too short.
It's weird because this really feels like one of the areas where technology could really excel in.
On my regular commute, the freeway interchanges that I must take, are too frequent, that I don't think the AutoPilot is worth the trouble to switch on. Especially when the freeway is empty, since I would have to take control of the car every few minutes.
The only scenario where I think AutoPilot is worth the effort to switch on, is if I must drive long distances on the same freeway, where you don't have to switch freeways. Like the drive from LA to SF. Or LA to Vegas. Or even just staying on the same freeway for 20 to 30 minutes.
I hope they can fix this deficiency. This AutoPilot technology is definitely beta, if they can't perfect simple stop-and-go freeway traffic.