First, realize - and I think you do already - that the days of the software tester are over. Only if you are working at the larger firms (read Cognizant, Infosys, Wipro) will your skills be called for in a full time context; even here, the scene is rapidly changing.
Second, PHP is very easy to learn and easy to produce something useful in. It is also in greater demand here than Python or Ruby. This will get you a job fast. Focus on core PHP5, learn to use Smarty, practise writing a few Joomla plugins and you will have a sellable skill.
Third: if you choose to go with PHP, get the ZCE certification. This will help you skip the technical rounds at several companies (This is not a good practise, but you sound like you need whatever you can get your hands on).
Fourth, learn MySQL to the point where constructing joins is second nature. If you want to, get the CMDEV certifications.
Fifth, learn HTML5 and CSS3; even if you don't use them alot at work(likely if you're working at a Joomla shop), knowing these will help you clear interviews. In any case, being ahead of the curve never hurt.
Sixth, and this is very important during a jobhunt: do not get desperate. Recruiters can smell desperation a mile away and will negotiate you down to a horrible wage if you let them. Don't. Also, make a point to distinguish between companies, and favor those that ask you tougher technical questions during your interview. You are likely to learn more from such a place.
Finally, if you must stick to testing, learn white box testing in any particular language(Java recommended) and/or learn Selenium thoroughly. There are still pockets around that hire skillsets like those.
Feel free to pass me a copy of your resume; I'll forward it to a friend I know who's doing reasonably well in the testing domain.
Good luck.