Ask HN: How do you make a big life change? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How do you make a big life change?

22 pointstemdbej9 comments

Throwaway account. I’m 31, gay male, single, live in SF. I’ve worked in tech in various non-technical roles for a few years and managed to save $1m getting lucky being in the right place at the right time.

I’m not really a career person and career has gone sideways for some time. I don’t see myself being a VC-backed founder or VC or tech exec anytime soon. I don’t really enjoy the SF tech scene. I’m also terrible at networking.

I don’t have any particular need to stay in SF but feel adrift and unsure what to do with myself.

I’m aware I’m in a privileged situation.

Anyone face a similar situation? How did you decide what to do next?

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Leave all your stuff with a trusted friend. Buy a harness, a tent, sleeping bag, and TC Pro shoes. Put it in a backpack. Don't bring anything else. Pull out $500 cash from the bank, get on a bus and go to Yosemite. Live in Camp 4. Meet the dirtbags, learn to climb. When the rangers kick you out follow the migration and go to Index, or Squamish.

When I felt a bit in a similar situation I jumped ship. I moved country (Easier for me, since I live in Europe) and I changed everything. New friends, new hobbies. The amount of things you learn when putting yourself in "uncomfortable" situations is incredible. I am aware this is not an easy change, but for me it was easier to do it jumping in with both feets. I did it 3 times, and I always jumped in the unknown. I always landed better off than I left.

After my divorce I quit my job, moved to Thailand and have been unemployed for 18 months. I dont have anything like that sort of money in the bank and I dumped most of my possessions before I left, but I was overpaid before I left and had money from the house sale and company shares. Ive got enough cash to last a few years.

Im working on a business that may some day earn some serious cash, but for now, money is not important. Being free of possessions (aka shit) is the best feeling. Very liberating.

Ive met a beautiful Thai lady and we are very happy. I spend time in Thailand and New Zealand, have travelled to europe and all over asia.

Couldnt be happier.

Two things have helped when I've felt adrift in the past:

* Reflection: Think about what activities are really useful for introspection (this is person-specific) and do a lot of it. For me, it's journaling -- I started writing a lot. I came across an interesting site recently (750words.com) where people write 3 pages a day and it trains you to just get your thoughts out. Seems interesting.

* Make a big change to your environment: Take a sabbatical or a big trip. Go to a place where you can immerse yourself in an environment that feels completely different. Actively try to get inspired and to find yourself.

Good luck, friend!

Move.

The location you are staying in has become toxic to you. For whatever reason. Go to a gay-friendly location so that you don't hate yourself. You might like a city/place and "life" because of a coffee shop.

Obviously, life is more complicated than that and you'll need infrastructure from time to time and maybe daily. If I were you, I'll look up gay-friendly locations and give them a short trip. Minimize costs as much as possible.

Don't stay in tourist friendly locations. Try to go to places you'd go if you were living there. See what it feels like. Some country/community/city will be a right match for you and then you'll fix a significant psychological problem.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and have started making the effort to save money so I can take a few months off when I'm done with this job.

I've gotten halfway there without changing much. Reading Lead Yourself First and Digital Minimalism have taught me the importance of being intentful with anything you do and to leave yourself time alone with your own thoughts. The latter has proven especially useful for me recently.

Only you can answer that question. What do you love doing? Do more of that. With 1m and no one to support you might not need to work again, but that doesn’t mean you can’t!

$1m affords you a lot of options.

You can quit your job and take some time off to figure out what you want to do next.

Go travel the world and stay in hostels

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