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Working from home changed my life in the opposite direction. Being able to fully manage my own time and not have someone breathing down my neck has enabled me to actually not procrastinate.

I used to suffer from a lot of stress and anxiety and I think that fueled my procrastination. Now that I no longer suffer from those, I can just focus on work.

For a while I've wondered how I even started procrastinating as hard as I did. I used to be the type to first get all pending tasks done and then go and enjoy my free time, but at some point it flipped. It's weird.

Thanks for sharing this. I used to be like what you said too, and things also flipped to me at some point, and I find it weird as well.

I used to be hugely self-driven and get a lot done but it seems that I get lost when working on really big projects. Some room for improvement in this field.

I think the stress and anxiety is caused by procrastination and the stress and anxiety causes further procrastination. It's a loop! The trick is to get out of the loop by establishing productive, rewarding habits.

I totally agree and I got caught in such loop. And it took me too long to do something about. Had to reach a really sad local minimum until I decided to act.

I will maybe write something about this in the future. When it comes to procrastination, people are usually so concerned about not realizing their full potentials. But it can be much worse than that. I was concerned about a suboptimal improvement and I ended up in a position worse than when I started.

> I have no wife anymore and I feel pretty bad and alone.

If you lost a spouse just because you had a bit of a down period in your life where you procrastinated, the problem in that marriage most likely wasn't you...

You have no idea what happened in the marriage while poster stayed home doing nothing of substance for half a year

right, but blaming yourself for everything is not helpful either.

To be blunt, I think it's the wrong kind of attitude toward school. You focused too much on the end result, getting the degree, rather than enjoying the journey, the learning and the obtaining of knowledge. It shouldn't matter whether it's 8 months or 14 months, as long as you learned during those time. As far as creating your own software company, it sounds like you are looking for the fantasy of entrepreneurship than building products. You don't need a company to build products. You could start building even in school. Really, forget creating company, wife, or getting rich, just focus on building a MVP. And enjoy it along the way. The rest will come.

Thanks for sharing this. I agree with you and wish I were aware of that three years ago.

I think that the biggest lesson I can draw from all of this storm is not to focus too much on the end result, specially when working on long-term projects.

The problem is that for some (many?) people none of what you mentioned is ever going to be enjoyable. For some, studying and work will always be a negative thing that that simply have to do. I think having goals for people like that is the only way to actually continue doing things. There is no end to work, so if you don't enjoy it it'll seem hopeless to even try.

At least this has been my personal experience.

I had a similar experience (on a smaller scale), but then discovered that working away from home—usually at a cafe—was basically a magic fix for my productivity problems. And I’ve seen a number of people on HN say the same thing.

IMO, if your focus starts drifting, find a new physical location to work from.

Yeah, that's what I intend to do indeed. I think those changes usually have positive impacts.

I think this is a common problem.

It's easy to start a project to satisfy a creative itch, however, once committed full-time, passion may not be enough to keep you going. Then it becomes difficult to maintain productivity and focus.

Many folks don't realize that growing a business is a continuous cycle of iteration, and that they themselves must be included in this process. For me, motivation has shifted from satisfying a creative itch, to the joy of getting a new customer.

I also think that school (especially grad level studies) may be in some ways detrimental to an entrepreneur, in the same way that an athlete struggles to correct a flawed technique burned into their muscle memory from their youth.

If school has trained you to satisfy an external stimulus (e.g. your thesis advisor), then you may be looking for the same thing in someone telling you what to do. At the end of the day, a business is about customers. I'd heartily recommend you tie that into your own iteration cycle of how you work.

Tl;dr: When a hobby becomes a job it is no longer fun.

> Coincidentally, yesterday I started to work on a co-working space. That new atmosphere helped me significantly and I hope it keeps this way for some time at least.

Did you have to pay for this space?

I know for me, the best way to kick myself in the pants is to start paying for something. If I stay in my apartment (which I'm paying for anyways), it's not easy to finish certain tasks, but once I have to start paying out of pocket that usually kicks me into high gear due to thinking "well I'm paying an extra $350/month for this space, if I sit here and slack off, I'm paying $350 /month to read HN, nope!".

Hi, I had to pay in advance for the space indeed. I feel myself this way as well when I pay for things. Like working out at home vs at the gym.

Check out the book Miracle Morning https://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Morning-Not-So-Obvious-Guaran...

If you need a place to work among other people in quiet without having to pay, try the local library or university. Could help you save some money.

I considered this and even tried them. In my particular case they weren't good options.

Local libraries and universities over here are not quiet places, unfortunately.

And I saw some advantage in having an office with a fixed position, so that I can take there my monitor, keyboard and stuff, avoiding working from home and forcing me to follow a stricter routine.

Hey, maybe what actually „destroyed your life” was the dream to have your own company? Seems like you may not be built for it, it is definitely not for everyone.

I had to make the story shorter, but the company now exists and is running. It's just not the way I initially imagined: I'm making some money building products for other companies while I try hard to improve and sell my own.

It seems to me that what ruined my life was my inability to deal with the anxiety of undertaking a very large project totally on my own, having to deal with emotional highs and lows being patient enough to wait for the results -- very large projects take time especially when you are working alone.

I feel confident that things will improve, specially now that I think I understand better what I've gone through, but it costed me a lot.