In 20 years of programming I have learned that all code is terrible, some is tolerable. You will get used to it.

What fixed my recurring unwanted thoughts was going to a meditation meetup. It takes some practice but you can get to a point where unwanted thoughts do not upset you, and eventually they will go away. It helps to meditate in a group, and you may find some friends there.

What helped me a lot with social stuff was CrossFit and Martial Arts, and dance classes. These things will make it easier to get dates and you will make friends. They are hard but if you keep going to class you will get it. It helps to have something to look forward too after work. It was kinda funny, when I first started swing dance I was way more nervous then in martial arts, but in swing dance there were not 200lb guys trying to punch me in the face!