iCab solves the first problem as it can auto background tab any links to a different domain. This is a actually smoother than the flow here: tap-hold-selecting is a slow operation I don't want to have to do it for every link on a page.
Instead I'd love a toggle that turns on add to queue as the default operation for the duration of that page. (This would be an improvement on the iCab option as the background loading is easy to forget about and then immediately becomes confusing.) The toggle should be a main button like the plus and would cease to apply if you navigate anywhere else or start going though your queue.
Another option would be certain pages always open in auto add to queue mode (eg set on the the bookmark). And some people might prefer add to instapaper as the default action etc.
EDIT: I actually really like this. Feels very smooth.