Hacker News Reader

Comment by idonotknowwhy | Hacker News Reader

> Yet I know that even if you aren't suffering grinding poverty being RELATIVELY poor on a local basis is really hurtful and isolating. It destroys you socially. You can't do what your peers can do and have to stay home.

This resonates with me. I tried explaining this to a relatively new friend recently and he told me "That's your white privilege talking".

People don't seem to understand that suffering is relative, and if you grow up poorer than your peers, it's still hurtful.

No I have to decide which will be better for my kids, the oldest of which is reaching school age. Bottom of a middleclass area or top of a lower class area.

View on HN

Def agree. Dave chapelle said it best. If you grew up on the hood where everyone was broke, you didn’t feel as bad cuz you didn’t know any better.

But being a lower middle class kid in a rich neighborhood, even if you we’re better off than the kids in the hood, everyday at school you are constantly reminded of how poor you feel, more so than the people in the hood.

I don’t understand. You were saying you didn’t have as much money as your nearest peers and it was hurting your social life and making you insecure, and they handwaved it away as privilege??

The replacement of class politics with bloated Imperial multi-ethnic racial politics.

Often cheered by those who have never experienced actual hardship ie Homelessness, precarity mindset of being low income, being rejected at interviews because you have to use old clothes, social isolation of the lower classes, etc

Or to put it more crassly, the poor of America aren't "sexy". The poor of 3rd world nations? HOT. People who individalize their suffering by adopting "identities" (gender, sexual, racial)? HOT. The couple sleeping in front of the boutique candy store? TOTALLY NOT

Yep, "white privilege" to be precise, and that was the first time I'd heard the term. I was pretty surprised to hear it considering he knew I only had 1 parent growing up.

Your friend is not wrong but they were still being toolish about it. You mentioned your struggle, your problem; and instead of trying to commiserate they basically said "it could be worse". Know how you feel, most people can't relate with my life experiences either so in the past when trying to discuss them I received similar levels of dismissal. Something I realized though is that it goes both ways: in the moment they said " that's your privilege talking", you had a window to turn the conversation back to them, to ask about their experiences. Of course that direction for a convo isn't always appropriate, or it may be asked too awkwardly to get a thoughtful response, but I will mention those times I shut up and opened my ears were some that broadened my perspective the most.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com