The share of Americans not having sex has reached a record high
washingtonpost.com
washingtonpost.com
My first thought is that the “incel” crowd will grab on to this, and I wonder if they have a point. My next immediate thought is to wonder if the online social networks that have risen catering to that group might actually be the causative factor - men who feel unable to attract a partner instead find some level of companionship in these groups, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.
I suspect the answer is a bit of both, though. Tech has likely had a profound impact on the dating scene for this generation, and it likely is more difficult for less attractive men to find companionship.
For the purposes of disclosure, I’m a 36-year-old male who met his wife at 14 and married her at 21. My experiences are atypical for my generation, and I feel like I see these issues from an external perspective.
And then there are people who are not in position to have partner, because they work long hours and/or lack privacy. In particular, 80 hours a week working dude in startup with nearly males only employees has zero chance to find a girl, altrough he may be nice and cool dude.
Through, I noticed gender difference in how people talk and think about it all too.
Still, I take issue with how the word entitlement weaves itself into such debates. What is due is due — how much a certain group yearns for it, or doesn't, is a distraction from whether the group should be granted its desire. It comes with an awful implication, which incels weaponize, that men who are having sex constantly are okay, possibly because they don't feel entitled to it.
This raises nonchalance to a virtue. It simply convinces incels they should become more like the misogynists (like them) who, unlike them, are getting laid. It makes them want to have the eyes of a successful rapist [0]
Nobody is entitled to anything. What few human rights we have were established through social consensus — sometimes as a concession to prevent wider unrest. Sex isn't a human right (though the choice to have it consensually is), mental health is.
[0]: https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wyndham_Lewis#Quotes_about_W...
Entitlement has no place in such a pursuit because entitlement implies a right of ownership, but a human being is not an abstract concept like "liberty" or "happiness" or an inanimate object like a plot of land that lacks agency or can be owned by another person.
No one, regardless of gender, stats or status, is entitled to anything in regards to a relationship with other people. Certainly not to sex.
When you bar a majority of males from a very strong reason to invest in society (wife and kids) , you plant seeds of societal discontent that spill into crime, rebellion, and war.
We're still apes in business suits with instincts bred in radically different environments than the post industrial revolution world. We react to things like social status on a primal level that all the ideologies of the world can't paper over.
sure, social networks run by MindGeek
Luckily I'm already married, but it would be a problem otherwise.
I’m pretty sleep deprived since our baby was born. Averaging about 6 hours of sleep a day, with interruptions every 2 hours.