I suggest don't let the K-12 and college educational systems make calculus a mess.
Instead, if have some algebra and trigonometry from high school and want to learn calculus, then just get one or a few good freshman COLLEGE calculus books and work through them -- at each lesson or section, read and think about the material and then work all the more challenging exercises. Check answers in the back of the book, a copy of the Instructor's Guide, on the Internet, etc.
For the books, get mostly old ones known for decades to be good. Get just good, used copies -- the subject hasn't changed much in decades. For the books, DO get ones that are good on (A) the completeness property of the real numbers ("Calculus is the elementary consequences of the completeness property of the real numbers."), (B) limits, (C) the epsilon-delta definition of limits, (D) the epsilon-delta, limit definitions of the derivative and the (Riemann) integral, (E) applications. Get more than one such book, use the one that looks the best as your primary source and use the others for alternate explanations and more exercises.
That's what I did: I got a good book and worked through about half of it. Then for calculus in college, I asked to skip freshman calculus and start on sophomore calculus, the rest of the book. A prof gave me a little oral exam, define the derivative, with some TeX notation
f'(x) = d/dx f(x) = lim_{h --> 0} (f(x + h) - f(x))/h
and I was in. I did well, made As both semesters. Went on to advanced calculus, ordinary differential equations, advanced calculus for applications, real analysis, functional analysis, real applications, peer-reviewed publications, teaching calculus, etc. E.g., for an application I derived and used
y'(t) = k y(t) (b - y(t))
to please the BoD at FedEx, keep a crucial investor from leaving, and save FedEx from going out of business.
From what I've seen of high school materials for calculus, I'd advise trying hard to avoid them -- again, just start with one of the best college texts. The one I used for the actual course was Johnson and Kiokmeister, then also used at Harvard, now ancient but still fine.