It sounds like you never really tried to integrate, so here’s my experience living in Shanghai, the most expensive mainland city - eating mostly Chinese food I would eat stuff like jianbing with chicken and pork for breakfast for about $0.80, lived in a studio apt in a shikumen building 5 mins walk from IAPM/陕西南路站 (I would consider, quite central) for about $400/mo that I actually found on Airbnb, not even using local apt finding services (bc I was there relatively short term, 4 months, and didn’t want to sign a lease) where I could have found one even cheaper probably, and was eating out for dinner at an average cost of maybe $5 to $7 per meal, or around $20-$30 if I wanted to splurge.

Then again, I took time to learn Mandarin against the advising of expats who reassured me that I’d never get any good and therefore should just not try, so maybe that’s where my perspective differs.

Sounds like your problem is trying to replicate western lifestyle in China, if you do that everyone sniffs the blood and will find ways to rip you off on everything. Though yeah, schooling probably would be a pretty big expense - no way I’d send my kid to Chinese schools either.