Still a rather sad story on your side, sorry to hear that. Don't want to stir up things more but maybe have a smoke and relax a bit, world is just fine ;)

On a more serious note, cynicism is one way to fail to cope properly with reality, not something that gets you far and high in life. But hey, more jobs for us positive folks compared to bitter sad cynics!

Cynicism is when this self-defence enters a degenerate state. This kind of negative outlook is an actual precursor to various kinds of psychosis widely studied with causal links established. You should check yourself.

The world is evil and degenerate only for your personal definition of those words. Your worldview is the actual defense mechanism.