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Comment by GavinMcG | Hacker News Reader

"The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love" is the most revelatory book I've read, I think ever. It discusses the ways power- and domination-based roles for men negatively affect both men and women, starting in boyhood. It felt like every page held a connection to my experiences.

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Coincidentally, I was recently watching a Sapolsky interview where he went into detail about how the Beta male primates with many grooming partners were healthier and happier than the Alphas.

So then, where does the desire to be an Alpha originate if it is so stressful and destructive?

Who has more children?

If happiness is the goal, we already have the answer -- cocaine.

> So then, where does the desire to be an Alpha originate if it is so stressful and destructive?

That's just it, it isn't a desire its a drive.

That drive serves the troupe, not the individual.

Give the prospective alphas testosterone blockers and you'll see them happily enjoy their lives as betas (or lower).

>where does the desire to be an Alpha originate if it is so stressful and destructive?

The same origin as every other drive of every living thing: reproductive success. Evolution doesn't care about stress and destruction. The only thing that matters from an evolutionary point of view is replication of genes.

Healthier, happier, and have more offspring[1], which invalidates some sibling comments.

[1]: http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/10/male-gorillas-who-bab...

Agreed! Bell Hooks was the first writer who made feminism accessible and relevant to my (male) experiences. I was gifted a copy of The Will To Change a few years ago and it's among the best gifts ive ever received.

Probably would be received about as well as dudes whining about feminism in public forums.

Well, women aren't the ones who've held onto power over men for millennia.

Books telling women how to behave have always been written. I'm not judging their intentions or consequences, but your conjecture isn't a remote possibility.

Men wrote the foundational texts for many religions. Many revered books are rife with discussions of the ideal woman or some such.

Some books written by women for women are also essentially written on behalf of men and their expectations.

(Disclaimer: I'm not acquainted with bell hooks' work.)

Comments like that reflect more badly on you than on anything else. For one thing, the book doesn't tell men how to behave, and your knee-jerk reaction demonstrating that you don't know what you're talking about just comes across as arrogant and infantile at the same time.

If this topic doesn't interest you, go elsewhere. Don't drag down the level of conversation for everyone else.

bell hooks is not "telling men how to behave." It is a book that seeks to empower men by understanding the structural ways in which masculinity can be harmful to men. This is a positive, affirmative message, not one that seeks censure or exclusion.

Besides, plenty of men have written books about feminism and gender. The reception is fine.

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