Ask HN: Business Is Making $400k / Year– Now I Don't Know What to Do with Myself

I have these types of existential crises about once every two years. Sometimes I just feel incredibly uninspired, which then leads to restlessness. It sounds like this might be what you're feeling, too?

That loneliness you described is more like "emptiness," and you should keep looking for inspiration to fill that space. You can find inspiration anywhere – there's no wrong answer! Woodworking, pottery, and taking classes all sound bomb.com. Some other suggestions:

You can travel. Going somewhere I've never been before, where I don't even speak the language, has reliably kicked me out of these lulls.

You can find something else to pour yourself into. In the past, I've just taken advantage of these uninspired periods by devoting a few weeks or months to another "bucket list" goal of mine (i.e. training for and completing an Ironman).

You can make new friends or visit old ones. Visiting old friends who knew me really well in a previous chapter of my life is a great way to shake me out of a funk. It's a good reminder of where I've been and gives me perspective on where I want to go. I also love reconnecting w/ people I really respect and admire, people who have also been my biggest supporters. As Rumi said, "Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames."

What you've described sounds extremely familiar to me. If it really is the same thing, I'd tell you that it's normal and definitely not forever. While some people wait for something to happen to them, I'd say be proactive and go search for that new inspiration!

Ps. I'm 30 and plan to start a family soon(ish), too. Our thinking is that these are the last kid-free months we'll ever have again, so we're trying to squeeze in as many adventures as we possibly can. Perhaps you and your wife should, too!

Good luck, and congratulations on reaching this level of success w/ your business! Feeling uninspired at this point just means that you've conquered one challenge and are hungry for something new to sink your teeth into.

A lot of helpful stuff here. Thanks for the kick in the pants!

One solution for dealing with what you're going through is to become a teacher or a mentor for people who are looking for one.

You're making good money means you must have learnt a few things you can teach others, so why not share that knowledge. It is the best way to do something new while keeping yourself in the game and meet a few like minded people too.

Great idea. One of the things I'm going to do is apply to be a Big Brother (not sure if it's global— but it's a mentorship non-profit here in Canada).

That’s great to hear. It’s a very good organization and one I’ve been thinking of volunteering with myself. Also congratulations on your business. That’s something I’m trying to figure out if I want to strive for.

Sounds like you're successful and have many personal outlets such as your business, music, etc. So I don't think wood working or extra academia is the solution. It sounds like you need more social interaction. You don't necessarily have to work to work on a team. Volunteer, join a church, have some kids, join a club (running, soccer, whatever). Get out there and make your life more complex in a good way.

Also, I'm just a developer so take anything I say with a grain of salt.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really like how you put it: "get out there and make your life more complex in a good way."

(My wife and I are trying for kids right now and sometimes I wonder if that's the "complex in a good way" thing that I'm anticipating...)

I'm of the opinion that humans crave to solve problems in one form or another. That can be in business, family, etc. In tech we solve physical problems. A mother or father solves the even more complicated problem of how to raise a child. It is a life changing event.

So by being so successful you have conquered many problems. But also taken away a necessary source of well being. It's time for a challenge.

That's the direction I would focus, having kids will change your perspective and life in a good way.

Being able to spend lots of time with them growing up will be awesome for you.

Kids opened up things for my wife and I. Between little league, school, etc we expanded our social network pretty substantially.

One nice thing is that everyone does something else. It's exhausting to be surrounded by geeks. I have beers every few weeks with a locomotive engineer, a teacher and a dentist. We cannot talk work, because none of us know anything about what each other does.

Consider Effective Altruism - you can substantially improve other people's lives with the extra money, with a nice side-benefit of making you feel more fulfilled.

Ever thought about having children? That'll keep you busy the rest of your life and can be very fulfilling!

I know this sounds like a light hearted joke and maybe a hyperbole to you right now OP (you mentioned on a comment trying for kids but not yet), but this is 100% true. I became a parent last year and nothing else in my life had kept me so busy, so much that it's impossible to even have time to think about "what do I do". I've worked in startup-turned-unicorn and been severely overworked in the past in my 20s, and that still doesn't compare to the level of busyness of being a parent.

First, set up a solid financial base for yourself so that no matter what happens to the business, you'll be financially fine.

And then just let it rip...go for it. $400k a year is only the beginning. Take it to $4m. Like someone else here said, that'll definitely give you a lot to do. If you don't do it, the risk is that someone else will in due time.

It could be a lot of fun and personally rewarding especially if you already have a solid financial set set up and especially if the growth means you can take on employees to create new jobs. Job creation, especially in the community where you live, is a huge net positive.

If any of this resonated with you, then you know what to do.

I really identify with this question. My process might sound insane, but here it is.

It's really hard for me to self-motivate. I get into slumps where I don't make progress on anything, then I spend a lot of time feeling bad and thinking about what to do, and then loop back to not doing anything.

If you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, 'esteem' needs is right below self-actualization and what you and I do is bounce between these two levels. When you work alone and can't self-motivate, how do you satisfy the need for a sense of accomplishment, for power and prestige, for respect so you can self actualize?

Sometimes all I need is a goal. The right goal can kickstart my desire to do things and progress makes me feel accomplished, but these goals are hard to find.

Sometimes all I need is a checklist. Checking things off as done is a great motivator for me but it requires having things I need or want to do.

When I don't have a goal or a checklist, I hop on hackerrank and do practice problems. The ranking system is an ok motivator, I get the sense of progress and accomplishment when I complete a problem and I don't feel like I'm wasting time like when I get that from a video game.

After a while, I realize hackerrank isn't really doing much and I want to get out of the loop. This is when I start planning every half hour of the day. I write it out for the next day at the end of the day, set alarms and do whatever the schedule says. It's no longer up to me, I have to follow the schedule. When I'm writing the schedule, I think about things I might be interested in, things that would help others, things that would bring me health, wealth and happiness. I consider how much and what I could get done in half an hour, write it down and do it. Eventually I find something I like and it starts filling my schedule. After some time, I stop scheduling because I'm doing that all day. Then I usually get bored and start the whole loop over again.

Every 100 days I have a reset day (it's in my calendar) to stop and identify what brought joy and accomplishment and try to stay out of the feel bad loop.

I found that teaching others (for example to code) helps a lot with motivation. I try to support my local https://hourofcode.com/us initiatives.

Otherwise, here is a cool side project I am starting to try and build at the moment too - a desktop Muon counter. http://cosmicwatch.lns.mit.edu/about

I'm 40... I was in your position the last 7 years. I rode it out... I have some regrets. My first being opportunity cost.

I did do a lot of pretty amazing things during that time though. Enjoyed my life. Went backpacking a bunch.

But I think if you have something that's on fire, just fucking grow it. If you don't have something on fire, sell it and try to do something new.

How could you think about it negatively? You did amazing things and enjoyed life, that's what life is about, isn't it?

I’m nearly 50 and imagine there are many HNers who may be surprised that when they ‘arrive’ they will feel as you do. I do not make the money you make but I have much more money than I need.

My family and my church committments shape what I do when I’m not working. After that my favourite things are working on the sheds I made in my garden and walking. I’m fortunate to be Irish and surrounded by plenty of green.

As you get older you will start to think more about what legacy you leave behind. You may as well make a start thinking on this now as you have had such a good headstart.

Try this subreddit’s archives: https://old.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/. You’ll find many similar questions and answers.

Cool— reading through it now, thanks!

Firstly, congratulations on your success. But a note of caution - the business/commerce world also faces entropy and success slow decays unless you are constantly nudging your cash-cow in the correct direction...are you? Decay is slow, but before you know it the opportunity goes away. I hope you dont ignore this to the point where you lose it over time.

I'd distinguish this comment from other comments in that it is OK to not scale this to $4m, but it would be a shame to see this decay to $300k, then $200k, and then disappear.

That sounds amazing. Congratulations.

Can you share what you think made your business idea succeed?

I'd suggest not increasing your spending like I've read humans do in such cases and instead planning your personal finances to get the most out of your success. After that, disconnecting for a while would be good to get rid of any burnout. It doesn't have to be that long, but disconnected enough to give perspective. Then figure out what you'd like to do with your freedom and resources you have left.

You just got your midlife crisis at 31 years old. You are essentially set for life and are now figuring what you want to do with the rest of your life. Be it further growing your company, living off your business and dedicating your life to certain hobbies, social causes, or traveling. It really is all up to you now.

In past, I have gone through similar situation where it became monotonous and lost the enthusiasm for few weeks.

I would say take a break of a week or two and try to do outdoor activities with two or more people - strolling, walking, sports etc and meditation as well. As you mentioned joining some classes like woodworking or pottery might help as well. Hope this will put you back into regenerative mode.

What is your purpose? Drive? Worldview?

Take a step back, take another step back. Think of these things. Idk how old you are, but I am 26 and think about this stuff daily and often. Today is a rather dark day personally for me.

Right now I think human purpose is to continue building our technology as a species so that we can expand through space. But that really doesn't help the day-to-day stuff

Miss a team? Build a team and grow your business. Bored with the business and don’t want to grow it? Sell it. Either way, find something that excites you and do it. And by the way 400k/yr is nice but what if your business dries up in a year or two? It’s not fu money by any means.

You're asking strangers to answer a personal question for you. Some of us in your situation would be perfectly happy woodworking, others would hate it.

You could consider joining the board of a non-profit you feel strongly about. You'd get to work with a team, and you could pitch in on day-to-day operations as a volunteer.

Huh. Joining the board of a non-profit is a good idea. I always assumed I'd have to be asked to do that...

You're right, it's personal— guess I was just hoping someone recognized themselves in what I was describing.

Consider your skills. A volunteer opportunity around your skills is a great force multiplier. Bing a Big Brother is great, but if you are really good at sales or tech or overseeing outsourcing companies or whatever -- you may be good enough to spend ~5hrs a month and contribute to an organization as much as a full time person might.

I volunteer at a number of helper places (e.g., DataKind) and you'll find organizations really seeking you out -- for advice. I was asked to be a board advisor on vendor selection. Basically, look over what type of skills/org they should hire for a task. How to ask for the right things. I'm sure you can do the same, use your core skill as a force multiplier.

I'm an advisor to a nature non profit. I love nature. I love that I dont have to "do" coding (I get enough of that during the day). But I can help them by finding coders, interviewing people, etc. Small helps that impact them a lot.

First off, congrats on the success!

It looks like that you are in a comfortable place. What if you put yourself outside of your comfort zone? You know, put yourself in situation where it forces your drive or motivation to kick in. Example, work in a charity for homeless people for one year or Help out a hospice for kids.

Good luck on your search.

I can't help you. But can I ask what your business does, and for any advice? Being you is basically my dream.

Hah, I'm lucky to be in this position but I'd rather not disclose any identifying information :)

Focus on either building the business or saving and investing your money. Because a business making a ton of money without much work absolutely will not last. I've been in that position several times. Competitors will show up. It's a big world.

Do you take walks or exercise? I find walking/running and taking in the fresh air to be helpful to clear the mind.

Nature is full of wonderful things to explore and take notice in.

In other threads I came across mention of a very small book called Constructive Living. It may of may not be of help.

Try scaling to a $4m/yr business. That'll give you something to do with your day for sure! You'll need to take on staff and you might need an office and you can get that sense of camaraderie back.

There's good advice in this thread but nobody has pointed out the very real danger you face: you've evidently got a really good thing going, but your attitude could cause you to lose it. Either you won't give it the attention it needs and it dies or someone hungrier than you will steal your market share before you even notice.

The other thing you can do is to sell up. The only thing I can promise you is that nothing lasts forever - you've got a good thing going now so you could find a buyer who might offer you anywhere from 4-10x turnover. Maybe even more. At the very least you could become somewhat independent by paying off your mortgage or having a comfortable nest-egg while you come up with other plans.

So to conclude, I feel you have two options - get bigger or sell up. If you go travelling to "find yourself" or become a woodworking expert or go into education or just fill your life with more distractions you could lose everything.

tl;dr: Cash == Freedom; Distractions != Cash;

Advise other companies or non-profits.

It's a great way to fill a few hours while honing your skills and growing and learning too.

Do good works. Change someone's life - it's very rewarding.

Boy, do you need to travel 1 year a few countries!!! By the end, you wont know where to focus your efforts.

I would, but I really can't add anything to this. Go.

i did a phd under similar situation. definitely beats pottery, although not sure you 'll need either in the end. also go to the gym.

Sell the business, go see the world. After 2-3 months, make a goal to build a new business from ground up. And go ahead.

if you miss being in a team, why not build one. There are now so many challenging opportunities that you wouldn't otherwise have the time or capital for

coincidentally, I'm also 31 in a similar situation. Probably will automate/hire for the day to day stuff, then work on a hardware project.