How to Kill the Toxic Ego That Will Ruin Your Life
thoughtcatalog.com
thoughtcatalog.com
In today's egotistic world, we need to cultivate a healthy ego, so that we don't sacrifice ourselves to unworthy causes. Ego is an important psychological tool that, when wielded wisely (with intention and awareness, as the article points out), can be very powerful and positive. We just need to make sure that we're in the driver's seat and that we don't let it take over. And especially that we don't come to believe that our collection of ideas about ourselves IS ourselves; as long as we remember that it's just a game--a mask, or a shield that can be dropped at a moment's notice--then we'll be okay.
There is a subtle but very important difference between discernment (taste) and judgment (comparison). Discernment is about the integrated relationship/system or the impersonal action/outcome, rather than the actor/person/self. It is not just a semantic coincidence that framing things in "I" language tends strongly towards judgment.
[I've reflected a lot on this topic but I'm not very good at expressing my understanding. Hopefully the above is helpful for what you were asking.]
We're sheep.
[1] https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/word-of-the-year/word-of-t...
It's too much to unwrap in a comment, but suffice it to say, while some of this can be helpful to someone in need of it, one would not be alone if they found it cynical and trite.
And some may say, but that's not the point where it is "toxic" but several of the samples in TFA are not counter or even in demonstration of where it might or might not be a toxic level. Even in communist/socialist societies the successful demonstrate an amount of aggression, ego and confidence. It's human nature. When it coincides with competence all the better.
I wonder how much of these "traits" (?) are just how some people are and they can't do much about it no matter how they try.
Ego blinds you to the darkness and weakness of yourself. We lie to ourselves to create a delusion that keeps.us moving forward.
That alone doesn't tell much, you can still judge the value of any trait independently of natural selection.
Evolution didn't keep up with technology during the last decades. We don't live in small communities with strong bonds, sleep in huts, hunt, &c. anymore.
If you say "we evolved to be like this" and "everything evolved is right" there is no place for any kind of argument to be made.
Sure I still need to sleep and eat, but that's about it. We're talking million of years of slow and incremental changes dictated by environmental constraints VS 200 years of exponential technological almost entirely tweaked for convenience.
Look at obesity, diabetes, back pain epidemics ... clearly most people diets / lifestyles are not matching what evolution engineered them for.
> Per your example we still need a community with strong bonds, a diet of lean proteins and greens, and a dusk till dawn sleeping pattern to function optimally.
To "function optimally" yes, but even without that you can live very long, reproduce &c. A few thousands of years ago you'd just die.
None of these arguments prove that Ego is an ineffective or negative trait.
First off people need to list examples about how a big Ego can be a neutral trait or an outdated trait as a supporting argument. If the ego is outdated at some point in time it must have been a positive trait, how can this be? If the ego is a neutral trait there should be an example about how a big ego can be inconsequential to the overall group or positive to the individual. Of course we are talking in terms of possibilities but the absence of examples of the above possibilities makes for weak arguments in my humble opinion.
My argument offers that the ego exists because humans need self delusion. They need to lie to themselves and see their existence as consequential in order to be happy.
Why has everyone ignored this statement? No argument is completely effective until every point is addressed. Perhaps it's because none of you could come up with a counter retort to the self-delusion argument so you chose to ignore it. Isn't that a form of self delusion? Are we all participating in an argument or are we just trying to win? Perhaps the participants in this argument is not us per se, but our egos. Perhaps all arguments are a meeting of egos.
How about self-destructive behavior?
What might help the individual survive in small does is not the same in large does.
What might help the individual survive in the jungle/caves is not necessary that it works well within a civilization.
Lastly, what helped us survive as a species is not necessarily to help the individual survive.
Evolution is not a monotonically compounding collection of good traits.
As the environment changes, certain traits become invalid or even actively harmful, and others might be needed.
Add to the mix the incredible speed by which we alter our environment (with technology, culture, and so on), and the very slow speed by which evolution operates in comparison....
Humans have the unique and wonderful ability to deliberately alter some of our traits on an individual level--which itself is a trait well-adapted to many environments.
Of course, this article aims to kill ego, not actually enrich the person's life. Killing one's ego can also ruin one's life just as easily as an ego too alive.
Even better, seek the creator of the universe and the source of love. Many people come to the conclusion that since science has enabled us to understand so much about how our universe works, we can jettison the idea of a creator. However, the contingent nature of our universe and everything in it requires a cause that is not contingent, and religion, especially Christianity, has been telling us about that non-contingent cause for centuries. I urge people to seek out that cause by looking to the testimony of the generations of good people who claim to know this cause.
Is it the same non-contigent source of love that loves us so much that created hell and just in case we don’t love it back?
> testimony of the generations of good people who claim to know this cause.
The same good people who also claimed that we would burn for all eternity if we didn't nod along to their delusions of grandeur?
This world is full of injustice, but the message of Christianity is that injustice is temporary and justice is eternal. Every man has a choice between eternal life and eternal death. God wants life for everyone - that is why he gave each of us life. He gave us the ability to love, but we also have the freedom to hate. Heaven is eternal love; hell is eternal hate. You get to choose the path you want to take.
The message of Christianity is that having faith in the blood sacrifice and reanimation of a savior figure is enough to receive pardon for all of one's inequities. I don't see what justice has to do with anything to do with it.
It's people that make ideas bad, or respond badly, not the ideas themselves. Of course any ideas regarding eliminating entire cultures, raging war, or taking of life en-masse should probably not be acted on regardless of how much sense Thanos made.
I've had some pretty profoundly comforting spiritual experiences in my life, but never one that involved a creator. Much more a realization that there is no time, no place, just a roaring hubbub cycling round and round because it's just so fun to spin.
Logically, there's no "ergo" here. We may still have OUR creator. As for who HIS creator is - it's for HIM to care, not for us :)
Why should we only care about one level of indirection? Or, taking the lazier approach, why should we even care about our hypothetical creator?
On the other side, being brought up in environment where (a bit religious non-practicing) parents extorted 0 influence over me and let me find my own belief (or lack of it), I really don't have this 'hole', nor the need to put author on everything I see around me. Matter can self-organize pretty well on its own and we currently don't have a good mind capable of comprehending true complexity of interconnected reality of our universe.
I could cross over to faith group (as did my cousin who was brought up in similar environment and is now priest happily), but every single cell of my brain would have to be vaporized for me to be OK with it for rest of my life, when I see glaring proofs around me every day that tell me there is no creator in the form all major religions imagine/hope for.
And whether there is another type of creator, is a question that is not that important for me, since answer to it won't change a single thing in my life, nor my morals nor any behavior or decisions. We all (sane human beings) have a moral compass, and apart from the part about believing in one and only true god, it aligns pretty damn well with most religious moral doctrines.
I don't think true believers can ever come to state of mind to even seriously toy with the idea that there might not be immortal soul of them. That its only this world, and nothing more, no higher meaning or purpose. That we are not special, and universe will be just fine even if Earth is consumed by black hole tomorrow afternoon. They just can't do it and be happy full people anymore.
I can, easily, without a blink of an eye, and it feels great and empowering. Even if I may be wrong, which is not a bad outcome after all :)
Sorry for the long post, just putting down some observation between agnostic me and my fiancee who was brought up in pretty strict catholic ways.
Belief in and of itself in something more than one self can be very beneficial to overall happiness and well being. So can effort and work. There is so much one can do in and of one's self to improve their own lives. It's like when people complain about $other-culture$ destroying america (usually religious right or leftist/communists)... My advice is to approach interaction with others from the POV of best of intent. Not that you have to agree with their intent, only that you shouldn't presume intent or their pov.
In dire situations and extreme circumstances, ego really is a killer because time is precious and is wasted by ego. Thus killing not only your ego, but also the project itself, other people’s ego, careers etc. Ego in a dire situation is like a pressure cooker.
So the best way to kill the ego is get yourself into extreme circumstances; BASE jumping or insanely unrealistic project deadlines etc.
Perhaps that sounds too "hippy" to their readers, but doing a bit of research and quoting the original sources would be nice.