I'm tired of dealing with people like this. It does not have to be this hard. Tech companies should fire more people just for being jerks.
> I was mad that, while I spent my nights learning F#, my daughter started calling everyone around “fathers”.
Huh, you mean missing out on the good parts of life while martyring yourself for a company that does not give a shit about you can lead to resentment and toxic work culture? YOU. DON'T. SAY.
Honestly, a lot of the time management will stoke the "hero coders" ego so they will do the free work.
Management: Oh, Hero Protagonist! We need you! How will we ever earn enough to give our CEO the 15 million bonus if you do not martyr yourself for this feature?
Hero Protagonist: They're right. I am the best and smartest. I better dump all of my emotional labor onto my coworkers and significant others and bury myself into doing free work for my company.
> When you work as a developer, you always have to argue. You, as a team, arrive on a solution after a lot of argument, even though we call them “discussions”.
I do not feel this way at all. There are productive ways to have discussions that do not involve getting defensive and arguing.
The fact that you have to drag all of your discussions into toxic arguments in order to save face is... sad.
> And yet it’s somehow important than your arguments “win” more often than not, just to feel good and confident in your power.
No, it is not. That is just how you feel to justify your constant toxicity.
I see very little "power" in bullying all of the other developers on my team into following my opinions.