Bay area is one of the worst places to find a girlfriend though, so if this is important for you, you need to move to a place with different supply/demand balance.
Anyways I have a girlfriend who is much more organized than me, and she happily does things after me as well (in return I bring her to restaurants all the time, and paying for everything in our lives, as I have much higher income). If you find a great partner, life gets easier.
I've minimized my lifestyle so that it doesn't require a double income to sustain. Work becomes a choice instead of a burden.
I realized some time ago that I hate house work so much that it's just not worth for me to do it and leave it to other people who like it more than me. Also for me it takes about 3x the time to do the same house work as other people.
The great thing in specialization is that everybody does what he/she is good and efficient at and/or likes.
I'm not going to document them here in any significant detail.
Just requiring things like no drugs, including alcohol, or junk food including sweets / sodas / baked goods / ice cream be kept in the home where conveniently accessible already eliminates the vast majority of Americans in my experience.
If I were to exhaustively write down the common disparities WRT my standards this would turn into a short novel.
I'm no longer in the Bay area. Most of my relationship experience happened prior to living the Bay area, back in the midwest. You're right about the Bay area being awful for finding a girlfriend, it's all dudes on the market. My Bay area experiences were more in the cohabitating context, splitting rent with randoms.
If I wanted a family it would be a very frustrating situation, and I would probably go to a different country honestly.
But I don't, so now I just watch in disbelief as most the friends I grew up with destroy themselves in unhealthy marriages where they can't even go on a kayak trip because it'd leave their partner alone. Or can't abstain from eating cake every other day because it'd offend their partner to reject something they made. Nope.
This sounds crazy... though I'd never reject a cake that my girlfriend makes. She's a dietitian, 45kg (99 lbs) / 165cm, and I admire her discipline in restricting the amount of both fat and sugar in her diet (and the food she makes...you know cakes don't have to be that bad). She's my model for eating healthy.
At the same time I was 2-3 times in the U.S., and I went into a fast restaurant once, as I didn't know where I should go to eat (later I found out about Whole foods, that was my go to fast food location).
What was really funny for me, that you could buy 1l of coke, and you could refill it for free. I thought it's just marketing, as I wouldn't imagine any person being able to drink more than 1l of that sh*t. Guess what, I was disproved in 5 minutes. I mean do people really hate living that much in the U.S.?
But I don't think that particular "eat what I cook or I'm upset" phenomenon is unique to the US. My mother, an Italian, would overfeed everyone within reach and lose her mind if turned down. The food was delicious, but absolutely not healthy in either nutrition or quantity. Her worth in life was almost entirely defined by her traditional cooking.
There's a common form of relationship which exists almost entirely around shared experiences of eating "comfort food", which is really just foods that poke the reward centers of the brain. This literally becomes the foundation of all happiness between the couple. The food is no different from a shared drug addiction between two addicts.
This leads me to this: it's interesting to think about which way the correlation goes - are these early deaths caused by living alone, or is it a symptom of other things wrong in their life that lead to a lack of girlfriends and random people and family in their life?