There's an inherent bias in the choice of analogy. There are many potential metaphors that aren't as favorable as hardhats or seat belts. How about a leash or blinders?
> There's a whole lot of smart people who like static typing for the safety benefits it brings to their programming. Web browsers are the front lines: where one click on a stringly-typed reference can cause unknown third-party code to run on your computer.
URIs have a rather well defined type and you can easily detect a malformed URI. The problem Google seems to intend to address, and the way they intend to address it, has nothing to do with the type of the URI but ultimately how its value should be conveyed and heuristic restrictions on what forms the values may take. This leads to situations where valid URIs are treated as invalid, based on arbitrary heuristics, not a tightening of the type of value a URI encodes.
The more apparent problem, from your description, seems to be that websites can at all use your computer to execute arbitrary third-party code. Addressing this by vaguely limiting what URIs you may access is a weird way not to take the bull by the horns. To somehow hide information that is part of the URI to make it more clear what resource the URI represent is just ass-backwards.