Ok, so they are the simple because you say so? Stash in all but the simplest cases is a sure-fire way to shoot yourself in the foot. Checkout is a weird guy, he does too many different things, and what's up with the double dashes? Super-weird! Also beware that any of your branch names happen to match any of the file names in the repo :O.
> I think where people express confusion over git is that they don’t expect to be interact with revision history
This is one of the things that confuses beginners about git, but it's not a confusion about git cli. You are conflating the criticism of git cli with criticism of git. Git is good, git cli is (notoriously) bad. However, eventually you'll (hopefully) learn the proper incantations and then using git cli will seem simple to you.