The source of this performance gap is architectural. The current design of RocksDB precludes it ever being legitimately high-performance in most contexts, and most other open source storage engines use a similar design. Modern high-performance storage engines also use a common architecture implemented in minor variations, you just don't see this architecture in open source much. I realize that few software engineers have the skillset and experience required to design a top-notch storage engine, but I am still surprised by the dearth of open source examples given the large value in closing this gap.
I rarely use open source storage engines in the systems I build for this reason. The CapEx/OpEx implications of using them is far too costly at scale. Fortunately, I have the approximately free option of using my own storage engine implementations.