From what you said I think you overestimate how happy working on your own goals will make you and I think you underestimate how happy your marriage is making you.
It doesn't have to be either/or. Look at the excluded middle.
It doesn't have to be either/or. Look at the excluded middle.
We tried a middle ground to where we each have dedicated time each day for work and goals. However, this never implemented well. She would come in a bother me for the smallest things. I explained I need to focus and she just does it again 5 mins later. So I drop back and punt and hang out with her and the kids. When she needs to work, she gets that dedicated time. I think the main reason she is always on the phone or Skype or Zoom and therefore she is never interruptible.
Our goals in life are very different. The way we work is very different.