Kissing up Like a Pro: A New Study Says How to Do It Right | Hacker News Reader

Kissing up Like a Pro: A New Study Says How to Do It Right

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25 pointscwan9 comments

This method is much more effective (in personal experience):

> Charlie [Munger] also talks about Ben Franklin working the system: "As he was rising from obscurity in Philadelphia and wanted the approval of some important man, Franklin would often maneuver that man into doing Franklin some unimportant favor, like lending Franklin a book. Thereafter, the man would admire and trust Franklin more because a nonadmired and nontrusted Franklin would be inconsistent with the appraisal implicit in lending Franklin the book."

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=145544

I heartily agree. Getting someone to do you a favor, even a small one, is indeed a very effective way to gain trust & build rapport. When I first learned of this concept I was skeptical, so I made a conscious effort to see if it would actually work at my job. Indeed, even a simple "could you grab me a cup of coffee while you're getting one for yourself" favor resulted (usually) in a slight uptick in the other person's perception and treatment of me.

The human psyche is pretty fascinating at times.

My own method is to tell the boss when he or she is wrong and don't back down (although if the bosses want to ignore or overrule my objections that's their perogative).

That's my way of saying "Hey I think you're a smart self-confident individual who is more interested in discovering the truth than feeling a tongue snaking up your backside."

A good boss should be flattered by that stance.

Good boss typically needs no flattering.

How well has this tactic worked for you? Good bosses are very rare, so if it's working for you, stick with that boss.

I knew a fellow who was fairly rich from years of accumulating rental properties. He just worked because he enjoyed it. He called his passive rental income his "Fuck You Money" and behaved accordingly. Never rude, just not afraid to speak his mind. All the higher ups loved him because he told it like it was with no fear of losing his job and he wound up with more job security than the suck ups.

My "kissing up" tips include working smart, genuinely enjoying my work, sharing my ideas, and listening more than speaking.

Wow this sounds like the complete opposite of PG.

Looks like you didn't read the article: "overt ingratiation can backfire." :)

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