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Comment by daodedickinson | Hacker News Reader

>She and her colleagues suspect that the increase is due to children being physically punished for their grades, “but it might be something else we don't know about,” she said.

Fucking duh. How could they have this statistic be accurate at all but not have anyone ask any of the kids? We would have told them "FUCKING DUH". Got into a #1 grad program for my major, dropped out because by then my parents chilled out I realized I have ZERO motivation for anything unless someone is going to beat me up if I don't do it. Tried getting a comp sci degree, all the profs told us the degree was useless, profs and students cheated rampantly, and I didn't see a single company in the industry making the world better rather than worse. Now I live in my parents' basement and when they die I will be homeless.

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You have zero motivation now but that can change. A friend of mine was similar. Super bright, amazing grades but out from under the thumb of his parents and things feel apart. It took him a few years but he got motivated to change. Now he's serving in the Air Force, way happier than he was and doing great. Don't give up hope you can turn this around.

Not like kids won't get beat on a weekday, but if my mom was mad on a weekend I would have to hide under the bed all weekend and stay silent so she wouldn't be reminded I existed.

Glad somebody loves to vote down abused kids here, thanks.

I didn't downvote (and wouldn't have). I suspect that you are being downvoted because you are no longer a kid. You are an adult. You do now have agency to make you own decisions. Personally (and I am not a doctor so I could well be totally wrong!) I think it sounds like your lack of drive/ambition could be worth speaking to a doctor about.

You seem to be in a bad place, I hope you don't get stuck there. I know how hard change can be, there's nothing easy about it, and personally - I wouldn't have been able to even get started alone.

Maybe you have already tried it, but if you have the means, see if you can find a psychologist, or essentially any professional you feel is interested in listening, and be prepared to at least consider their words.

An bad environment can corrupt both how the world looks and how we see ourselves, that's why it's so important to get someone who can help you/us see again.

I any case, whenever you do throw off the tiniest part of what is keeping you down. Give yourself credit for it, and celebrate as a madman. Preferably as a respectful and kind madman, but give yourself credit.

“Now I live in my parents' basement and when they die I will be homeless.”

Is that the fate someone else picked out for you? Change it.

Yes, but it's not that simple. Our daughter was abused, by a relative that we were trying to help. It can take years to (at least somewhat) undo the damage.

Yes, the GP needs to get to work - not primarily externally, but on the internal damage. But it's not nearly as simple and easy as you make it sound.

daodedickinson: This may be too hard to do alone. There are people who can help. Find them. Stick with it. It's a long road, but worth walking.

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