Don't you think that there's a reason for that? That systemd solves the problems that make it possible to react to events and makes laptop-usable distros possible?
Meanwhile, enjoy launchd. Maybe you will find out, that they are conceptually similar.
If systemd had followed a similar philosophy, it would have been accepted without anything like the same amount of criticism. As it is, its scope creep is frankly absurd and dangerous.
The philosophy of systemd exemplified through PRAXIS is one of subsumption and uniformity (== taking away choice) under a singular vision defined by the systemd implementors. In practice, this means that you are penalized in various ways if you don't "buy in all the way". You can take a look at all the distributions that ship systemd by default and see how many have bought in all the way vs not using the "additional functionality".
It is one such solution. But there are others, which from an end-user perspective are much easier to deal with (e.g. runit, shepherd etc.).
So, for instance, my Void-powered laptop shuts down quickly and cleanly when I ask it to, and I don't have to wait 1:30 minutes (or more) on shutdown.