> XR, XS, X max... Which iPhone has a notch?

All of them.

> Which one has a home button still?

None of them.

> So whats the difference

<>S is the refresh, same as it's been for years. Max is the physically larger size, what used to be called the "Plus".

> These are questions I've heard over the holidays from friends and family, questions that were unthinkable when Jobs ran Apple.

I mean, Max/Plus is annoying, but I think Jobs was alive when iPhones refreshed with an S so this seems like a silly statement.