Father Time | Hacker News Reader

Father Time

newyorker.com

55 pointseplanit12 comments

Everyone dies eventually. Either you are going to be taken away too young or you will grow old and weak. There will come a time in your life that you need to acknowledge that the peak of your life has passed and that you need to be content with knowing you will slowly fade away.

I'm currently 33 but when I was 30 I was diagnosed with cancer. I had two surgeries and I may need localised chemotherapy in the midterm but it was a fairly minor event as far as the term cancer goes. For quite a while I didn't know it was a minor thing, however, and it made me confront my own mortality. It has been one of the most significant events in my life and it has led to my life improving dramatically. I realised that I was unhappy with my life and that I didn't want to die after living that life. I make far more decisions now based on living a life that I'll be happy with. I set plans in motion and I go out of my way to fix things that I'm unhappy about. I hate to think how I'd feel if I first confronted my mortality when it was too late to change the course of my life.

Interesting! What sort of things did you change in your life that led to your happiness?

So I make decisions that will lead to a path of happiness, I look at my life through questions like "what do I want my life to be like in X years?".

I wanted to be a software developer so I've been studying CS formally for 2 years now and I'll be changing careers in either 12 or 24 months depending on some factors.

I put in more efforts to maintain a social network. I'm introverted and really enjoy time by myself but I realise that I'm actually happier when I spend time regularly with friends. The difference between solitude and alone is determined by if you want to be by yourself. I was enjoying solitude until I was diagnosed, then I suddenly felt alone.

I don't have anxiety anymore. This wasn't deliberate, I simply stopped worrying about things after the whole cancer scare. I'm alive and healthy, so even if things go bad then I'm still in a better spot than I could be.

David Sedaris is great. If you have not read it, I would suggest you pick up "Me Talk Pretty One Day". I prefer the audio book because David is the reader.

If you only have time for a little bit, check out 6 To 8 Black Men - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPfg20k5TE8

My favorite David Sedaris story is how he picked up so much litter in his city the local council named a garbage truck after him and apparently had no idea he was famous until after they published an article about it.

https://kottke.org/14/10/three-cheers-for-pig-pen-sedaris

I hope I am still able to joke. The older folks in my life seem to manage some equinanimity about their situation, even though to me it seems less than ideal.

When I was younger mortality seemed like a far off concern, and the equanimity with which my parents and grandparents faced aging was a great example. Now I'm older and have children of my own, I can more clearly see the responsibility that comes with that. They deserve better than having to deal with a parent that's consumed by bitterness and disappointment about lost opportunities and the transitory nature of life.

I stopped reading when the author started talking about Trump. I swear, for people who hate Trump, they sure dedicate a lot of brain cycles to constantly thinking about him...

Likewise. Also who is in their right mind argues politics with 90 year old father? And not just casually, he wanted to see him impeached! C'mon

It’s normal to think about someone who causes a lot of suffering and has significant control over your livelihood.

I thought it seemed out if place. And then I saw the name 'Hugh', at which point I realized the author was David Sedaris. (He writes intimately about his family quite a bit.) It's a entirely in line with his style of humor.

It's More responsible

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