Bitcoin could be entirely ruined by a couple dozen people around the world in different ways at any time. Eth and other coins even more so.
The idea of who “gets trusted” in these coins is just nuts. I’m not anti-coin... but man, I’m feel like I’m far enough from it to see a reality that many want to ignore.
That's different to e.g. PayPal where your funds can be locked and there's nothing you can do.
Decentralized control over name, logo, features or code of a crypto coin is extremely hard to impossible, if only because there aren't too many people alive that can discuss core crypto features with any meaningful knowledge (I know I can't). Some coins do have governance features, but none of those have profited very much from that.
Furthermore, crypto value is beholden on whales not to just dumping their vast hoards of coins into marketplaces all at once. That is to say, the largest stakeholders in a chain have the opportunity to crush the value of that chain, which means that they have power over other users' choice of chain .
Itslired by the great mystery of bitcoin, it’s like an appealing urban legend to say “we don’t know who owns all our coin by design! wink”. So this doubly makes the coin devs more powerful than “but it’s decentralized” people want to admit.
One - every Ethereum update is a soft fork of the protocol
Two - they are required to be soft forks by the very existence of the difficulty bomb.
Three - running a blockchain is already a social activity that requires everyone participating to opt in to the same protocol.
I don't think it would be easy, by any means, to convince the community to move a different direction than that desired by the core devs. But my main point is that the difficulty bomb is a mechanism to force soft forks frequently. It is not a mechanism to force any particular long term path.